Brothers Conflict: The Walking Mask
by Artemis Rogue
Summary: Unofficially an Asahina since childhood Alexis is welcomed with open arms when Rintaro finally marries Ms. Miwa. But its been a few years since she'd seen the brothers. With her head held high she marches foreword all the while dragging behind her an ominous darkness, a secret, that not even her father knows. Can love heal all wounds? Or are some wounds too great to be overcome?
1. Chapter 1

TGIF

Today is a special day.

Today is the day I move in with my new brothers.

All thirteen of them.

Oh boy.

Walking down the street, basking in the morning sun, I found myself on a mission. As soon as I met Ms. Miwa in person I knew she was perfect for dad; that they were prefect for one another. That perfectness brought me here, from the States to Japan, and from a Hinata to an Asahina. _How strange for him to take her name_.

Turning a corner a moving van rumbled by me following the narrow street down to the light. The neighborhood my brothers lived in, as I had been here several times before, was quiet and well kept. It had lots of trees and bushes and very few visible power lines which left the sky open and grand. Looking ahead through the glare of the sun I spotted two familiar faces standing post outside the gate.

"Masaomi! Wataru!" I called as I hurried towards them.

Wataru lit up as soon as he saw me and came charging towards me with Masaomi on his heels. I braced myself for impact.

"Sis!" Wataru chanted as he tackled me nearly knocking me over.

"Ooof!" I bowed over hugging the littlest of the Asahina brothers, "Hey Wataru."

"Wataru-"Masaomi interjected softly, "that's enough."

I couldn't help but laugh a little when Wataru pulled away and started to pout. Ever the spoiled younger brother.

"Masaomi-"I hummed stepping up and giving him a hug, "nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you as well."

We pulled away from one another.

"No one's home for now so would you like to rest?" he offered, "You must be tired."

I definitely could feel a major case of jet-lag setting in so I quickly agreed and followed the two back to the condo.

What little rest I managed to get I figured would be enough to keep me going until nightfall. Sitting in my bed, feeling the wood floor beneath my bare feet, I marveled at the room that was all mine. It was nothing grand, certainly smaller than my old one in the States, but cozier. The walls were barren and eggshell white. I had a new bed, a balcony, a desk that folded into the wall and a closet. It was more than enough room to function in but the bathroom seemed to be out of order.

I smiled. This was my new home and while I was excited I was equal parts nervous. The last time I'd seen the brothers had been three years ago, when I was almost fifteen, and they'd been nothing but nice to me then. In fact we raised all kinds of Hell and mischief. Now, on the verge of my seventeenth birthday, it left me wondering if they'd changed.

I know I had.

Standing up I headed downstairs to find Masaomi and Kaname sitting on the couch talking. Wataru had gone MIA though. _Maybe he's in his room playing video games._ Reaching the bottom of the stairs Kaname looked up from his brother, whose back was to me, and smiled warmly.

"Hey Kaname!"

As he stood up, his priestly robes falling straight, his honey-hazel eyes gained a sparkle as I got closer. Quickly I gave him a hug, smelling the temple incense on him, before he held me out at arm's length.

"My you've grown!" Kaname marveled.

It was true. Puberty had hit late but it'd hit like a friggin freight train. My boobs had come in big, round, my metabolism had kicked into overdrive flattening my stomach which pulled my sides in and my hips had rounded. The sudden change had garnered much, unwanted, attention in the years to follow and no matter how modest I dressed it didn't lessen the impact. In Kaname's eyes I saw that womanizing spark that I'd seen so many times as a kid when he watched women walk by.

"Yea. Dad kept feeding me." I smiled.

Masaomi chuckled.

"Oh! Hey, Azusa, Lex is here!"

We all looked up to the landing to see who'd come home.

"Hey Tsubaki! Azusa!"

After Tsubaki and Azusa showed Ukyo, Wataru, Subaru, Yusuke and Iori showed up. Futo was gone on tour, Natsume was working, Louis was at the salon and Hikaru was flying in so our gathering wasn't quite complete but full nonetheless. Sitting on the couch, surrounded by my brothers, I was all jitters. Was it from the plane ride? Or maybe from thinking too much about the change? Wataru had turned on the TV playing Futo's latest concert and we quietly watched. _I swear he worships Futo_.

"How was your flight?" Ukyo asked breaking the silence.

"It was good."

He smiled, "Good."

Nervously I pulled on the sleeves of my shirt.

"Is it too cold for you?"

I looked over at Masaomi, "Oh no I'm fine. Just bad habits."

Concern filled his face, "Are you nervous?"

"No." I shook my head and regretted it as my mind began to spin, "Just excited."

"Oh?" Kaname chimed in on my right pulling my attention, "Why is that now?" he winked at me.

I scrunched up my nose at him and said, "Because now I don't have to be alone anymore."

Kaname's sly face suddenly washed flat. Beyond him Subaru gave me a hurt look.

"Rintaro does travel a lot, doesn't he?" Azusa asked.

"Uh-huh."

Abruptly the world spun and went unfocused. All the strength left my body and I tipped foreword catching myself on the coffee table. The tea cups clattered with the impact.

Masaomi took hold of my arm steadying me, "Lex?"

Everyone seemed to go still, like I'd blow up or something, and filled the air with tension. Shaking my head and blinking my eyes I managed to focus. Masaomi felt my forehead and his touch burned.

"You're burning up!"

"I'm fine." I replied pushing his hand away and sitting up, "Really."

Without warning Kaname scooped me up into his arms and carried me upstairs. _So much for my first day_.


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday & Sunday Slept Away

The next day I woke up to bright sunlight flooding in through the balcony door and Masaomi rolling in a rickety cart. Groaning I rolled over trying to fight the rising nausea growing in my belly.

"It's too early."

Masaomi chuckled, "Its noon Lex."

Sitting up I tossed the covers back, "HUH?"

Masaomi, cheery as ever, sat down next to me and smiled, "If I remember correctly you never liked sleeping the day away."

I yawned, "I don't mind now."

Right on que Masaomi went into doctor mode. He felt my forehead, commenting that I was clammy but not feverish, listened to my heart and lungs which were fine. While he worked I eyed the cart he'd brought in. It had flowers, fruit, water, chocolate and even a plush little bunny. Masaomi twisted to follow my line of sight.

"Kaname dropped it off last night. They're get well gifts from everyone."

The gesture threatened tears. I was so used to being alone, on my own, and having to take care of myself.

Masaomi looked back to me, "Everything sounds fine but how do you feel?"

"Great! I think I just needed more sleep was all."

"Good. Well take it easy for today and tomorrow. Monday you should be good to start school."

"School?"

He nodded, "Yes. I enrolled you in the same school as Yusuke."

"So I'll get to see him?"

"Of course."

I hugged Masaomi swiftly and tightly, "Thank you."


	3. Chapter 3

I Hate Mondays

"Ahhhh man."

Standing in the hall I rested my forehead against my locker, the cold metal letting me know that this wasn't a dream, and got lost in the noise of the hallway. The weekend had gone by way too fast bringing Monday which only brought students sadness. I'd seen Yusuke, as I had several classes with him, and that was a great comfort being new and all. However the amount of homework I'd been given was going to drown me.

"Alexis?"

Hearing my name I lifted my head. Yusuke was standing next to me looking down on me.

"You're not still sick, are you?" he asked with a suspicious look.

"No." I whined.

He frowned and leaned against the lockers, "So, what gives?"

I handed him the crumpled piece of paper grudgingly.

"That's great!"

Sitting at the dinner table all I could do was glare at my plate of food sourly. Ukyo had made a veggie and fish stir-fry, my favorite, but I was in no mood to eat.

"How'd you manage to test so high anyways?" Yusuke gaped sitting across from me.

Iori, who was sitting on my right, snorted at the comment. I knew Yusuke meant it innocently, the he hadn't meant it in a mean way, but that didn't mean I couldn't have a little fun with him. Sitting back in my chair I crossed my arms across my chest and gave him an icy glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Chopstick in mouth he stared at me suddenly puzzled.

"Because I'm blonde you think I'm stupid?"

Yusuke's face flushed bright red, "Oh! N-n-no no no that's not what I meant-"immediately he went in a nervous fit.

Of course with him going on like that I was unable to hold my poker face and broke out into laughter. Besides me Iori smirked and even Subaru managed a smile. Yusuke quickly went quiet.

"I'm joking Yusuke!"

His blush turned even deeper red.

"But to answer your question-"I continued, "I don't know. I was trying to throw the test to begin with."

Ukyo choked on his tea pulling everyone attention, "Y-You tried to flunk?"

I nodded firmly.

Iori asked, "Why?"

Picking up my chopstick I took a bite of dinner and shrugged, "I don't know. In the States dad had me doing the same thing in middle school. I guess I was hoping to have a normal high school experience."

"But being able to go to college before graduation is a great achievement." Ukyo put in, "You should be happy."

I took another bite and thought about it.

"Do you know where you want to go?" Subaru asked in a deep voice.

"Meiji."

In truth I had no idea what colleges were out there nor did I care, anymore.

"Same school as Subaru….." mumbled Yusuke.

"Sit up straight and don't mumble." Iori corrected.

Yusuke frowned at his brother.

"So, what do you think Suba?" Ukyo asked, "Having your little sister at your school?"

"It's fine."

After dinner was eaten and the dishes done I headed upstairs to start in on that beast called Homework. Ukyo said he'd let Masaomi know about my attendance to Meiji and that, since he was my legal guardian in absence of dad or Mrs. Miwa, he'd handle the entrance papers. I was thankful for that because it was less weight for me to carry. As I got to my room I heard the floor groan behind me. Turning around I found Iori looking sheepishly at me.

"Hey Iori."

Stepping over the loud floorboard he closed the distance between us almost silently. In the dim light of the hall his grey eyes flashed with dark depths.

"I wanted to tell you congratulations on testing so well. "He smiled, "Even if you didn't really try."

Iori, so gentle in nature, always seemed to have an air of calm about him and it was working away my daily mounting tension. I smiled brightly up at him.

"By the way you've been looking pale lately. Are you still feeling bad?"

He put the back of his hand to my forehead and I laughed as I pushed it away, "Come on Iori! Don't go all Masaomi on me now."

He chuckled a bit then pulled me into a tight hug. It was a little clumsy and Iori seemed nervous doing it which made sense because I'd never known him to be so foreword. But I hugged him anyways. Heat rolling off him in waves smacked into me and the smell of tulips clung to his clothes filling my lungs. Enveloped in his arms I sighed out, relaxed, and leaned against him for support.

"Lex?"

But his voice brought me back.

"Oh, sorry!" I pushed away from him breaking the wonderful hug.

Iori watched me with gleaning eyes, "What's wrong?"

His serious tone struck me with some sense and that fact that I'd messed up.

Quickly I smiled, "Nothing."

Iori frowned calling my bluff.

"Really." I continued, "Just thinking about all my homework."

For a long second we stared at each other.

"I will tell you if anything's wrong." I lied, "But thanks for your concern."

Without waiting for a reply I hurried into my room, closed the door, and leaned against it. Holding my breath I listened to Iori walk away. That was way too close.


	4. Chapter 4

Tuesday

"-so if this toxin harms the nervous system-"

 _What am I doing_? Sitting in the lecture room, my first day at Meiji, the last five minutes had been torture. Reality had reared its ugly head and smashed my face in with a sledge hammer. Leaning back in my hard wood chair my eyes focused from the screen and gazed around. The stadium seated room was pack for Professors Minamoto's lesson, the top in his field, and it was dead quiet.

 _What am I doing_?! How many times had I sat in on these things since middle school? Hoping. Waiting. These kids, these students, were the future. In someone's mind there rested a cure but- _Will they find it_? Suddenly the air felt too thick and heavy in my lungs. The wood walls of the room were closing in, my blood was beginning to burn, and my chest tightened. Sharply I inhaled as a cold sweat broke out across my body….my fingernails dug into the desk top…..Jumping to my feet, my chair screeched across the floor pulling everyone's attention, and hurried out. _**WHAT'S THE POINT**_?!

My feet soared around the track despite my ill equipped shoes. The squishy red turf bounced back with my every step. My lungs burned with crisp, cold air making my muscles warm. The cold sweat that had once frozen me had turned molten pushing me further. Faster, harder. _What's the point_?! Hopelessness was cruel beast and hard to wrestle with. The tears that had escaped before I'd reached the track had dried but I could still feel their phantom runs on my skin.

 _There will never be a cure_! Again I ran around the track, another mindless lap down, and forgot how long I'd been running. Without warning the track lights came on with a loud shudder. I slowed, panting hard, and stared towards the western sky. The sun had set.

Another day lost.

Rage boiled my marrow. I took to the track again. Running like this I could escape anything. Everything! My body was beginning to feel the strain though. My joints began to ache, my muscles were cramping…..I couldn't get enough air as anxiety clamped down on my chest. _Oh god-is it the running or the meds?_!

"Lex?"

A shot of pain raced up my spine, "Ahhhhh!" forcing a scream from my lungs making me collapse onto my knees.

"Alexis!"

On hands and knees, panting for life, I turned my head sideways to see Natsume running towards me.

"Alexis!"

As soon as he reached me Natsume dropped down to my level. He was disheveled from running.

"Lex what happened?" he panted.

His hands grabbed my arms and lifted my hands from the turf.

"Natsu!"

Natsume looked over his shoulder, "Subaru!"

Before Natsume could help me up I struggled to my feet and Subaru came into the halo of the stadium lights. His face was flushed and his dark hair was matted with sweat.

"Hey Subaru. Natsume." I panted faking a smile.

"Have you been here this whole time?" Subaru breathed.

I nodded, "Yea."

"We've been searching for you everywhere." Natsume held up his cell phone, "Everyone's worried."

In the end we all came to the conclusion that I'd left my pack in the lecture hall which is why I never answered my phone. As panicked as Natsume seemed I could only imagine how many calls I'd missed. Sitting in the passenger seat of Natsume's SUV I could feel Subaru watching me from the backseat.

"Thanks for the ride Natsume and sorry about worrying you." I apologized breaking the silence.

We stopped at a red light.

"No problem but don't make it a habit. Worrying us brothers in such a way."

The light turned green. Subaru sighed heavily showing his annoyance with Natsume's preaching. Shifting in my seat I attempted to alleviate the growing pain in my spine and prayed we'd make it to the condo before I passed out. _How stupid am I_?! As my frustration raged, unknown to my brothers, all I could do was picture the label less aspirin bottle in my pack. I could see the brilliant orange pills, in the bowls of that white bottle, locked away from me in that classroom. _Thank my lucky stars I have a spare at home_.

"Why were you running?"

Subaru's voice broke my trance bringing me back to the present. Back to the pain.

"Come again?"

"Why were you running?" he asked again.

Natsume gave me a sideways glance, "And in street attire."

Both were avid athletes so they knew it was strange to run in such things. I shrugged but didn't say anything. As we approached the condo I was relieved to see home, how the lights were on, but horrified by the crowd that had gathered. Natsume stopped the car ad Subaru practically jumped out like the SUV was on fire. It was eight at night, so it was dark, but the entrance light illuminated all of the brothers.

"Everyone was so worked up-"Natsume looked over at me, "they were going to call the police."

I looked back to my brothers-when the door was suddenly thrown open.

"Lex!" Tsubaki yowled.

With the motion of the door opening I nearly jumped into Natsume's lap. Tsubaki pulled me out of the car and into a death grip of a hug.

"Where were you lil sis?!" Tsubaki whined.

The pain in my back was spreading to my nerve endings setting everything on freakin fire!

"Tsubaki-"I panted, "Please…I need to shower."

Using the excuse to shower I had made a break for it. Getting to my room I found my pills, downed four, and waited for the pain to subside. Once it did I showered and headed back into the fray of worried brothers. As expected I was bombarded with endless questions, which I think I handled well enough, except Natsume had this doubtful shadow in his amethyst eyes. Iori and Natsume were, probably, the two most intuitive of all the brothers. I had to be wary. But with nothing really concrete to pin on me they remained quiet with their suspicions.

Sitting at the dining room table I listened to the wall clock tick away. It was passed midnight and the condo was silent; everyone had gone to bed. _Stupid drugs_. Sighing I took a sip of my tea and sat back. It was a side effect; I found, the jitters and insomnia when I went too long without a dose. I had to be more careful. Steam billowed up off my tea as I waited. I had really worried them. Their response was so unexpected too! Running my finger round the rim of the cup I stared into the dark liquid. _Dad never worried about me like that_. I smirked. _Course' dad was never really home_.

"You look like-"I looked up from my tea to the stairs, "you carry the world on your shoulders."

Standing there was Hikaru. His khakis were wrinkled, his button up shirt undone, and his long hair pulled back. Getting up I walked over and gave him a hug.

"When'd you get back?" I asked excitedly into his shirt.

Hikaru let go, "About an hour ago."

I turned, heading back to the table, "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"I'll take some tea."

Hurrying to the kitchen I poured him a cup. He pulled out a chair joining me. Sitting back down I handed him the cup and he sipped at it. I took a drink of mine.

"So how was Timbuctoo?" I teased.

Hikaru snorted a laugh, "I only went to Nepal."

I shrugged nonchalantly, "Same."

Chuckling he answered, "It was fine. Chilly. Distant. Inspiring."

"Hmmmm."

At my Hum Hikaru looked over the brim of his cup at me.

"I look forward to your new book."

He winked, "You'll get the first copy."

Growing up I'd always read Hikaru's books regardless of dads cautions. Often graphic but compelling once I started reading I couldn't stop! Hikaru set his cup down and the bonk sound it made echoed around us.

"So why are you up, so late, and alone?"

I shrugged and looked down into my cup, "Couldn't sleep."

"Oh?" he asked slyly, "Is that all?"

This was beginning to turn dangerous. Hikaru was digging because he knew something was up. Looking up I smiled and nodded.

"Uh-huh."

Smiling warmly Hikaru reached towards me taking my chin gently in his hand, "I wonder when did our dear little sister become so guarded?"

As he looked down into my eyes ice filled my veins.

"I can see the walls you've made. I can see you've locked yourself away. Why?"


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday

 _I can see you've locked yourself away. Why_? Hikaru's words had followed me in my waking hours making it hard to focus on my lesson. Behind me I could hear Yusuke tapping his pen against his notebook instead of taking notes. Glancing back over my shoulder we met gazes and he instantly blushed but he also hurried to work on taking notes. _Weirdo_. I looked forward.

The whiteboard was full of notes-in Japanese. I was so rusty in the subject I translated my notes slowly and often missed a lot. Overhead of the board the clock ticked to one-thirty and the bell rang. Immediately everyone started to pack up.

"Hey Yusuke-"I smirked, "what'd you get Subaru for his birthday?"

"His b-birthday?" Yusuke repeated slowly.

Shaking my head I turned aside and faced him, "Boys have such bad memories. Yes he's turning twenty-today."

His crimson faded eyes closed and he sighed hanging his head. I reached over and patted him on the back.

"We'll go shopping after school, kay?"

His eyes shot open, "What?! You'll help me?"

I jammed my books into my bag, "Yea. Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged off my question as he packed up his stuff. I had a feeling when it came to such events it was every man for himself.

Shinjuku Square was full. Of course that made sense since every surrounding school had been let out. Yusuke and I had trolled the mall, for an hour, without success. It was frustrating but I was happy to see him putting in the effort for Subaru. We came to a food court and plopped down at an empty table.

"Oh man." Yusuke groaned.

A herd of giggling girls passed by donning their white and green skirts of a rival school. It left me wondering what _was_ the fascination with girls and school uniforms? Why couldn't the female populace wear pants? Or, at least, jeans? Uneasily I shifted pulling the hem of my skirt lower.

"We'll find something Yusuke. Don't worry."

The smell of pizza, fries and stir-fry filled the air. Yusuke's stomach growled, loudly, to which my eyes bugged out. His youthful face blushed.

"Come on." I laughed, "Let's go get something to eat."

"Oh! _But I don't have any money_ …"Yusuke mumbled.

I shrugged, "I wouldn't invite you with intentions of making you pay. Come on, my treat."

After snagging some pizza and dango we took a seat on the fountains edge and had a light first dinner. Under the skylights bars of sunshine bounced off the rippling water of the fountain. At its center stood the water god Susanoo who was grandly sculpted out of milky white marble.

"How're you doing at Meji?"

I looked back to Yusuke, "Fine. School is school."

Yusuke finished a bite of dango, "What're you going for again?"

"To be a doctor."

It was a lofty, unattainable, goal and a complete waste of time but, then again, I hadn't much of that to spare. So why not do something totally unrealistic? I took a bite of my slice. The sauce was over spiced but the cheese was perfectly gooey.

"Have you always wanted to be a doctor?"

"No." _Not until recently_ , "What about you, Yusuke, what do you want to be?"

He looked away, his face falling flat, "I don't know."

Watching him I saw his shoulders slump and his eyes glaze over. I knew that posture all too well because I got it, often, when dad talked to me. I bet Ukyo and Masaomi were really putting the pressure on him about college and career. Picking up my soda I sipped at it.

"Do nothing."

He looked up at me with a startled expression.

"Do nothing. Do something. It's your life and choice in the end anyways. But know that even in nothingness you'll need to find purpose otherwise it's fruitless."

He frowned, "Purpose in nothingness?"

I shrugged, nodded, and sipped at my soda some more.

"What smells so good?!"

I poured two cartons of cream into the mixer bowl and set it on high. The whisk whizzed around the bowl whipping at the liquid. I added a little sugar.

"It's my magical baking!" I called to Tsubaki.

Ukyo was casually leaning against the wall, at the threshold of the kitchen, sipping bourbon on the rocks and watching my busy pace. The whip cream had reached its peak of perfection so I turned the mixer off. Running my finger along the whisk rod I tasted it.

"Perfect-"I detached the whisk, "Wataru come get the whisk!"

"WHAT?!" Yusuke and Tsubaki barked from the table.

Wataru came running into the kitchen wide eyed and excited. I handed him the whisk.

"Sit at the table, kay?"

He beamed, "Okay!"

"That's no fair!" Tsubaki whined.

Azusa chuckled as Wataru sat down next to him. Hefting up the steel bowl between my arm and side I grabbed a spatula and started frosting the cake.

"Who would've guessed our tomboy little sis would be so skilled in the kitchen." Ukyo hummed.

I smirked, "Even tomboys have their soft sides," I flicked some whip cream at him, "But never forget the mean ones too." I winked.

Surprised Ukyo stared down at the lump of cream on his shirt. Finished with frosting I scooped up the cake, and the bowl, and headed to the table. I checked the clock, it was five passed seven, so Subaru would be home quickly. Setting the cake down I shoved the quarter full bowl to Tsubaki.

"There you go." I cooed, "Now be a good boy and share with your brother."

Azusa dipped his finger into the whip making Tsubaki growl. Quickly I went back to the kitchen, grabbing candles, and set them up. Natsume and Hikaru were, conveniently, MIA but everyone else was here. As I lit the candles Wataru marveled at the flame.

"Hey Suba." Masaomi called from the head of the table.

We all turned to find Subaru had arrived. I smiled.

"Happy birthday Subaru!"

IN the end everyone loved my Refrigerator Lemon cake-even Subaru- and there were no left overs. Sitting at my desk as I packed away his birthday gift I couldn't help but smile. It was so nice to have family around! To have birthdays and noise and life…. _He'll love this for sure_! Sealing the envelope I got up and headed to the living room.

"Natsu was saying your form was off."

I heard Tsubaki talking and for some reason I stalled short of the green couch; out of sight.

Azusa hummed, "Could your mind be elsewhere?"

Subaru snorted. The living room smelled like sake. Apparently the boys had been drinking.

"Maybe its _lil sis_?" Tsubaki pressed, teasingly.

Slowly I crept up to the couch, avoiding squeaky boards, and crawled across it to hang over the banister. None of them noticed me.

"There's nothing on my mind." Subaru protested.

His face was tinted red but I wasn't sure if it was from embarrassment or booze.

Tsubaki elbowed is brother, "Oh? Come on then. Out with it! What do you think of her?"

Subaru's flushed deepened as Tsubaki egged him on. Then he snapped.

" **She's a pain in the ass**!"

Tsubaki jumped back at the explosion from Subaru.

"She walked in on me already so now I have to lock the door when I shower."

 _Ooops_. I felted heated by the memory of walking in on him when I'd first moved in.

"I have to wear my clothes all the time and watch what I say. Things were better when it was just us!"

"Well-"everyone looked up at me very surprised, "in your defense I should've knocked but you should've locked the door too. So that makes it both our faults."

Abruptly Subaru paled and jumped to his feet.

"Hey, Kaname, catch." I let the envelope go, "Happy birthday Subaru! I hope to wish you many more!"

As soon as Kaname caught the envelope I turned heading back to my room.

"Eh-LEX!"


	6. Chapter 6

Thursday

Standing in front of the mirror I stared at the bizarre reflection and turned my head sideways. I'd never pictured myself near a dress let alone in one. Ms. Miwa had picked it out for me and it was a pretty little thing. Off the shoulder sleeves, with a high collar of lace, the soft material just hung loosely down to my knees. It covered up my curves and I was thankful for that. Louis had done my hair pulling it back into a pony-tail and curling the ends. In the room light the golden stuff shimmered. Carefully I slipped on my heels and headed out.

 _What a strange day to have a wedding_. It was in the middle of the week but everyone seemed to have made it. Wandering down the civic halls towards the chapel my thoughts drifted. I was happy that dad was getting married, Ms. Miwa was a great lady, and the boys would be great sons. Coming to a grey set of doors, meant to look like stone, I slipped beyond them into the chapel. The place was grand, ornate, with wooden pews, stained glass windows, ancient candelabras and a raised altar. Standing at the front of it all, looking so small, was Natsume. Quietly I walked down the center aisle. He didn't seem to notice me.

Finally I came to stand beside him, "That's a long list of confessions you got going on."

He jumped almost falling over making me laugh a little.

"Geez Lex!"

"I'm as sneaky as ever you know."

He smirked, "I see that."

Bouncing on the balls of my feet I stared up at the altar. It was decorated with candles, mosaics and Christ on the cross. I understood the principle of the display, to never forget, but it seemed wrong since He did come down off the cross. Displayed like that it seemed He was in perpetual torture.

"You look handsome in your tux and tails." I commented as I realized Natsume was watching me.

"Thanks. You look very pretty as well."

I smiled, "Ms. Miwa picked it out. Otherwise I would've worn jeans."

That made him laugh giving the stale atmosphere some bubble.

"By the way I heard about what Subaru said-"

I shrugged, "Ah, whatever. He's allowed to think what he wants no matter what it is."

"Lex-"

I glanced over at Natsume, "Its fine. He's my brother. I'll still love him no matter what."

"Hopefully you feel the same towards all us brothers."

Both of us turned back to see Masaomi standing in the isle watching us with curious eyes.

"Yo Masaomi."

"What's up?" Natsume asked.

"The bride and groom are on their way."

The ceremony was long but beautiful. Afterwards everyone left to the massive gardens out back to enjoy food, music, and company.

"You look beautiful today."

Sitting at an empty table I glanced over at Masaomi as he took a seat next to me.

"You don't look too bad yourself." I smiled and winked.

My stomach was stuffed so getting up and dancing, for now, was out of the question. I watched as Tsubaki and Azusa were tearing it up with Wataru. Without warning my joints started to hurt. Reaching up into my pony-tail I pulled a little packet from my hair-

"What's that?"

Of course Mr. Doctor would notice.

"Just some aspirin." I lied downing four little orange pills before he could inspect.

Masaomi sat foreword leaning his elbows on the table, "Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded as I finished off my water, "Just a little headache is all."

Something flickered in his eyes but it was gone too fast for me to catch.

"How's everything at the hospital going?"

He nodded, "Good. Nothing major to report."

"How do you do it?" Working such ungodly hours all the time?"

He seemed surprised by my question, "How do you mean?"

Leaning on the table with my elbows I looked at him intently, "Taking care of people, kids especially, it had to be hard and the pressure…I'm finding it hard enough to balance high school and college."

He chuckled lightly and it was a warm sound. It made me smile.

"The kids are pretty good though. They just want to feel better."

"True enough." I mumbled looking away as tears threatened to fall.

"You're not fond of children?"

I shrugged. The medication I had been tethered too had sterilized me two months into treatment. Whatever hopes I might've had in that respect was gone.

"What do you picture when you think of the future?"

"I don't." I snapped coldly, "Because I don't want to limit myself, you know?" I quickly recovered.

"A-Alexis?"

Twisting in my seat I found Subaru standing behind me and looking nervous. Lifting my hand to block the sun I smiled politely.

"Why you nervous? You just knock over a corner store?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "C-ca-Will you walk with me? Please?"

"Sure." I stood up and patted Masaomi on the shoulder, "Pardon me, will you?"

He nodded. Subaru took the lead and I followed. Away from the grassy lawn of the reception we went taking to one, of many, cement paths. It snaked through the grounds hugging hedges, dodging bushes and going beneath the shade of trees. We passed a few people on our wanderings, as it was a public access pavilion, but they paid us no attention. Finally Subaru stopped, conveniently next to a bench, so I sat down. These heels were killing me!

"I…."Subaru cleared his throat, "I wanted to say I'm sorry-for last night and what I said."

I sighed, "You don't have to apologize."

He looked down at me with cloudy grey eyes. I hated 'sorrys'. They were always awkward. 'Goodbyes' were pretty much the same.

"Lex-"

I stood up, "You should never apologize for being honest."

"But-"

Panic filled his eyes.

"Even if it's only honesty of the moment, yea?"

The look on his stoic face told me he was lost and defeated left unsure of what to say. Stepping up to him I gave Subaru a hug and he went ridged.

"Were siblings. We love each other regardless but we don't have to like everything each other does." Pulling back I smiled up at him, "Now let's get back to the party."

When we returned the meds had once again kicked in with the jitters. Maybe upping the dosage was a bad idea. Oh well! Kaname was swift to spot me and pull me onto the dance floor. I got to foxtrot with dad and even Ms. Miwa who was just ecstatic about having a daughter! Tsubaki managed to keep pace with me but Azusa and Wataru retired after a few hours. It was so much fun, the wedding, and being around family.

For the day I forgot.

The weight was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

TG…..Oh I F***ed Up

 _Unbelievable._

 _I've got the hots for Masaomi!_

The condo was quiet. Everyone had left to their evening activities. Azusa and Tsubaki to a voice recording session. Subaru to his job. Ukyo to his office to prepare for trial. Futo back to the studio and he dragged Louis with him. Yusuke had to go to a cramming session if he was going to improve his grades and Wataru had gone over to a friend's house to play video games. Iori had gone to an evening lecture.

So it was only Masaomi and I for the night.

Standing side by side I washed dishes while he dried and put them away. _When'd he get so tall_? As I focused on the bowl in my hands, felt the warm water rushing over my skin, my mind kept wandering back to him. Our elbows bumped and I went still but he didn't seem to notice. _Really?_ The question resonated in my mind louder than I wanted it to. I felt nervous and jumpy and my heart was racing ever so slightly with him being so close.

"Lex?"

I looked up. His kind face was smiling that same soft smile I recalled from childhood making his brown eyes deepen.

"I think that bowls clean now." He chuckled.

Looking down I saw where I'd started to polish the finish off. Quickly I handed it over to him and grabbed another dirty dish.

"Lost in thought?"

I nodded, "Yea. A little."

 _Well, at least I can form coherent sentences_. I still had some sanity.

"What's so serious that you should think so hard?"

I shrugged but didn't answer. _Uh, maybe it's because I just realized I have the hots for you_.

"Worried about school?"

"Nah."

He smiled, "Well that's good. You're doing very well from what your instructors tell me."

I smirked a little. Masaomi set down his dish and stood up stretching his back and sighing. He'd just spent three days at the hospital watching over a near-fatally injured patient. I imagined he was very tired.

"You know if you want to go upstairs and got to bed that's fine. I can finish up dishes." I offered.

He shook his head, "I couldn't-"

"Masaomi you've been working a lot lately and if you don't take care of yourself you know you're gunna get sick. Just go up and sleep." I looked up into his face, "I doubt these dishes are going to lead a revolt any time soon."

That made him laugh.

"Alright." He yawned, "Have a good night."

"Good night."

As I looked back to my work, listening to his fleeting footsteps-

"Lex?"

I looked up from the sink across the bar and he was leaning on it smiling at me.

"It's nice having you back. It got kind of boring without you around." He told me with a warm smile.

Something warm bubbled up in my chest.

"Thanks. I missed you guys too."

With that he turned and walked towards the stairs. I quickly went back to the dishes. _Is this really happening_? It was hard to tell as stupid as it sounded. Grabbing a plate I scrubbed at it under the sudsy water with vigor. Maybe I wasn't attracted to Masaomi in a lover's sense _. I mean we are both opposite genders. Nature just following its course_. I set the plate aside in the drainer, the motion sent a sharp pain up my back, and I froze. The stab resonated up to the base of my skull making my vision squeeze and darken.

"No…"I breathed.

Turning I took a step, lost my balance, and fell bringing the drainer down with me. Porcelain smashed against me and shattered across the tile floor sounding like thunder in my ears. Rolling onto my stomach my palms felt the biting sting of pale white shards and the living room opposite flickered like it was stuck in a strobe effect. _No. No. NO_! A horrid heat overtook my skin as if I'd been engulfed by fire and threatened to drown me. Every nerve writhed with pain.

"Lex?"

 _Not now_! I could hear Masaomi coming back his footsteps sounding like a giant to an ant. I tried to push myself up off the floor, to hide what was happening, but the effort set off a blaze of cooking pain in my bones.

"Alexis!"

Masaomi was suddenly kneeling in front of me, blocking my skewed vision, and he grabbed me by the shoulders.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Instantly he let me go as a scream tore from my burning throat filling the silent condo with the presence of Death.

"Lex what's wrong?!" he asked urgently, "I'm calling the hospital!"

As I he stood up I grabbed his ankle with a shaky, pale, sweaty hand and rolled onto my side curling into a ball.

"D-Don't-"

"Lex let go-"

I knew he wouldn't understand and in this state I wouldn't be able to explain. If I went to the hospital the doctors and nurses wouldn't know what they were looking for. I'd just die. In some small way a part of me wanted that. To just die. But it was cowardice and I wasn't going down like that!

" **THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING**!"

Masaomi stared down at me with fearful eyes. I knew my appearance was deteriorating quickly.

"I-If you send me I'-I will die. H-He-help me. Please?" I asked weakly.

"Tell me what to do."

His face suddenly set in a determined, professional way and I realized this was Doctor Masaomi.

I reached for him, "B-Bath. I-Ice."

Gently he scooped me up and even though his touch blasted across my skin like hot steel I managed not to scream. Swiftly he marched upstairs to the landing and hurried down the hall towards his room at the far end of the wing. It was the closest bathroom other than the one on the floor above.

Kicking in his room door I heard it bang loudly against the wall. He took me to the bathroom, laid me in the porcelain tub, and turned the water on. I flopped back, my muscles made useless by this being-cooked-from-the-inside-out sensation, and tilted my head back panting for air.

"Lex." Masaomi called in warning.

I could feel the cold water touch my toes and I stiffened as the fire that was melting me turned to something else. A cold burn.

"I-I-Ice." I panted.

As I closed my eyes, focusing through the pain, I heard his footsteps fly away. The water reached my ankles and I felt my jeans drink it up. My pills had run out faster than normal. Seconds later Masaomi returned and I felt him dump ice over me, heard it splash down into the water, as its frigid tendrils began to work around me. The water slipped over my stomach and began to lift my head off the bottom. Masaomi gripped my hand with his and, even though it hurt, I felt a strange sense of calm in this storm.

It was unlike anything I'd felt before.

The water abruptly covered my chest making me gasp in a deep breath. I was nearly covered! The ice was forcing the burning fire to slow, stalling it, and bringing the agonizing pain to a lull. The tap was turned off with a high pitched squeak leaving nothing now but my panting in the silence.

"Alexis?" he called to me.

In my mind I was drifting away in the comfort of no feeling but I managed to open my eyes even if I could only stare at the white ceiling.

"I need you to do something else for me." I muttered.

" _Lex open your eyes. Please. Open your eyes_."

I was wrapped up in something plush and I could feel warmth radiating from my hand down my arm. The smell of citrus and disinfectant filled my nose and a deep, sultry voice rumbled at me from somewhere beyond. As much as I hated doing it, just wanting nothing more than to stay here in this world of darkness, I didn't want Masaomi worrying any more than he already had. Slowly I opened my eyes adjusting to the dim light of the room.

I was wrapped up, in his bed, and Masaomi was sitting on the floor holding my hand resting his head on my arm. My eyes drifted to the clock on the nightstand to find the neon numbers blinking 1:30 AM. I looked back to Masaomi. His touch, his death grip on my hand, wasn't hurting me anymore. The medicine had worked. I eyed his hand…..how it eclipsed my own making it look very small.

"Lex." He sighed.

Slowly I reached out with my free hand and buried my fingers in his dark brown hair. It was soft and fluffy.

"M-Masaomi?" I rasped.

My throat had been torn raw from screaming. His head lifted and he stared at me with red rimmed eyes. _Has he been crying_?! I saw his breath hitched in his throat, his brown eyes looked so faded, and then they came to life. With one gently swift movement Masaomi pulled me from the bed into his arms.

"Oh Lex." He breathed shakily.

The fluffy grey blanket had tangled around my legs limiting my movements but as Masaomi held me against his chest I did manage to hug him back. His heart was racing, pounding like a race horse, and his body heat was rolling over me in waves making me sleepy.

"I-I'm sorry. For what it's worth." I muttered in his shirt.

His hand snaked up my neck burying itself in my hair, "What's wrong Lex? What happened?"

I sighed against him. I knew that would be the first thing he'd want to know and I didn't blame him. If the situation was reversed I'd be asking the same questions.

"You have to promise not to say anything to ANYONE. That is the one condition."

"Lex?"

"Agree or don't. But you'll never know the truth unless I tell you."

I'm sure he was fighting internally now. The doctors oath and morals and all that.

"You have my word." He said after a moment.

Much to my surprise I sighed in relief.

"I'm dying."

His heart lubed painfully to a slow pace.

"A year ago I was told I had cancer. The doctors said that I had three months to live because the cancer was a radical kind they'd never seen before. It was born in the marrow of my bones and quickly spread riddling me with it. The pills you gave me they keep the disease dormant and the ice bath just stops the pain so the pills can work."

"Those pills were one thousand milligrams and you took seven." He breathed, "How-"

"I started taking one and that worked but every couple of months I have to increase the dosage or…..well what just happened starts to happen."

Holding me close I could feel Masaomi shaking a little but I couldn't tell if it was from fear or anger.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

I sighed and relaxed against Masaomi, "Why? It will only make everyone sad. I'd rather enjoy my life as if it is normal."

For a long time we sat in silence with Masaomi holding me making me drift off to sleep.

"Alexis…"


	8. Chapter 8

Life remained the same after that night which told me Masaomi was holding true to his word and hadn't told anyone. But as much as that was a relief it didn't stop the weirdness between us from being apparent to only us. The following morning things had gotten weird for several reasons.

#1: Masaomi was the only person to know about my illness.

#2: At some point I'd passed out in his arms and woken up in his bed.

#3: I'd woken up not only in his bed but wearing his robe and nothing else-Which means that when he hauled me out of the bathtub he'd stripped me down and seen me naked.

#4: He'd seen me BUCK NAKED.

#5: Through a few connections Masaomi had been able to secure me some more of my medication however he was the one dealing out the daily dosages. So on top of being my brother ( _through marriage let's not forget here people_ ) and my crush he was now my 'drug dealer'.

If only I'd knew how weird things were still to get.


	9. Chapter 9

Holiday

"This place is amazing!"

Above us the sky was dark, depthless, and covered in brilliant stars. Back home, at the condo, we could have never seen so many stars with all the city lights and the sight was simply breath taking.

"Lex. Lex?"

I looked down from the sky to my left where Azusa was sitting.

"You're marshmallow is on fire." He told me deadpan.

Looking back to the fire, bellowing between us all in the chilly night air, I saw that my marshmallow was, in fact, flaming.

"Holy crap!"

I pulled the puffy morsel out of the fire and blew on it to no avail. Across from me Hikaru and Kaname were laughing at my flustered show. Swiping the rod side to side the flames whipped but didn't go out.

"Lex I never knew you were such a pyro!" Tsubaki teased around a mouthful of s'more.

Looking over at him, forgetting my fire problem momentarily, I shot him a loud raspberry. Abruptly Azusa's hand wrapped around mine, engulfing it, and pulling my attention. He pulled my flaming treat down to his mouth and with one strong puff snuffed out the flames leaving behind I very burnt sugar ball.

I smiled, "Thank you Azusa!" then plopped the whole thing in my mouth careful to avoid the iron rod it was pierced on.

Natsume made a sour face, "How can you still eat that?"

"It's burnt." Subaru mumbled.

I smiled, feeling my cheeks fill with sweet, gooey goodness like a squirrel with nuts, "Charcoals good for you." I quipped around my mouthful.

"Did you do this a lot back in the states?" Iori asked breaking his normal silence.

I gave him a quizzical look with an arched brow, "Burn stuff? Or camp?"

He smiled warmly, "Camp."

Swallowing my crunchy food I nodded, "Yea. I used to camp a lot with dad back when he was first starting out. Although-"I glanced at Hikaru and then to my left at the giant wood cabin type bungalow, "we camped in tents."

Hikaru sipped at his wine and snorted, "Barbaric."

I laughed and the sound echoed out into the midnight forest around us.

"Dad got a lot of good photos when we camped so we went as often as we could."

An owl hooted somewhere in the distance.

Yusuke chattered, "D-Do you l-li-like the woods?"

I watched as he pulled the blanket around him tighter. There was far too many of us around the fire pit for the heat to really do its job. A wolf raised a mournful howl to the sky, where a Cheshire silver moon hung grinning ominously, signaling the death of a pack mate.

Nodding I looked up to the sky, "I do. Forests are my favorite places to be. They're so green and vibrate and full of secrets. In fact, if I was alone, I'd gone native a long time ago."

"I never would've pictured you as a nature girl." Ukyo hummed.

At his comment I brought my gaze down from the sky. Suddenly Wataru, who'd cuddled up with Kaname, stirred sitting up.

"I try to keep myself adaptable. Constantly moving."

"Wataru?" Kaname asked softly, "Do you want to go to bed?"

Sleepily he shook his head, causing his cow licked hair to shift softly to one side, and staggered around the fire pit towards me.

"That's interesting." Azusa hummed curiously, "Why be such a way? It seems tiring."

Wataru reached me as I opened up my blanket and he crawled in. Wrapping him up tight he clung to me and fell asleep.

" _Lucky little tike_." Kaname mumbled.

Natsume kicked him in the foot.

Holding Wataru in my arms I just started to rock side to side, "It can be tiring but movement is life. What doesn't move, what becomes stagnate, dies."

An odd silence fell over everyone after that and all that could be heard was the crackling of the fire pit.

"Where's Masaomi?" I piped up breaking the silence.

Louis, who'd' be silent up until now, replied, "He got a call about one of his patients. They're in a bad way so he went back down the mountain."

"Oh." I looked down at Wataru in my arms, "I hope he makes it back soon. He needs break from work even if it's just for Christmas."

Louis smiled, "I don't think he would miss our first Christmas all together."

"By the way does anyone know what we're doing for Christmas dinner?" Tsubaki whined.

Everyone turned their attention to Ukyo who choked on his graham cracker.

"I-I didn't plan anything!" he gasped in response to the pressure.

Kaname sighed heavily, "Take out it is."

I laughed, "How about I make Christmas dinner?"

"I'm all for that!" Tsubaki agreed.

Kaname smiled mischievously and hummed, "Beautiful and a cook? The perfect package."

I looked across the flames at him with a flat expression, "Kaname your pervert is showing."

Futo snorted.

"Uh….g-guys."

We all looked at Yusuke who was pointing up at the sky. Gazing skywards I could see tiny snowflakes beginning to fall.

"Time to pack it in." declared Hikaru who was first to get up and leave us all in the dust.

Iori stood and stretched, "It is passed one."

Holding Wataru I shifted him in my arms so his head was resting on my shoulder.

"Do you want me to take him?" Azusa offered.

Shaking my head I started down the gravel path towards the cabin, "No. I can carry him but can you help me put him to bed please?"

"Sure."

I could hear the wall clock ticking across the hall. Tossing and turning I spent an hour just staring at the ceiling unable to close my eyes or find rest. Putting Wataru to bed had been easy, with Azusa's help, he hadn't woken at all. Everyone was asleep and the cabin was eerily quiet. It kind of made me feel alone and that scared me more than anything. _Masaomi I hope your safe_. He'd been on my mind nonstop since he'd up and disappeared. I kind of wished he'd told me he was going but it's not like we were married and it seemed weird if I were to ask him to tell me. Again I rolled over sighing and stared at the dresser.

SMASH!

Instantly I sat up like a bolt and tossed back the covers. Something had been smashed downstairs. My feet touched the cold wood floors as I scuffled towards my bedroom door, slipped out into the hallway, and headed towards the living room. _Please don't be a bear. Please don't be a bear_! As I made my way down the hall the wall on my right suddenly disappeared giving me full view of the living room below and the windows on the eastern wall that ran from ceiling to floor. Leaning over the banister I peered down into the dark room and saw-

"Masaomi?"

He was swaying as he walked partially leaning against the wall and from where I stood I could smell liquor filling the room _ **. He's drunk**_! Without thinking I jumped the banister, landing on the couch, and bounced over the back of it touching down on the living room floor.

"Masaomi." I hissed coming up to him and taking hold of his shoulders.

His brown eyes were distant, faded and his cheeks were a rosy color. Gazing behind him I saw there was a smashed statue on the floor. _He must've bumped the table and knocked it over_. _Hikaru's going to be pissed_. That statue of a goddess was his favorite and, he claimed, often his muse for his novels. The strong smell of acrid booze brought my focus back to Masaomi. I listened to the cabin but nothing had moved. No one but me seemed to be awake.

" _Come on. To be with you_!" I growled pulling his arm around my shoulders giving him support.

We struggled up the stairs, to which I swear he'd gained two left feet suddenly, and down the right hall then up another set of stairs to the loft on that level. Turning the ancient metal doorknob I pushed the door open and the hinges squeaked a little. Flipping the light on I was blinded for a second and Masaomi groaned. Across from the door was a bed to which I carried him and let him flop down onto. Quietly I hurried over and closed the bedroom door before going into the bathroom to get a wet rag.

"Why the hell are you drunk?" I asked angrily returning to him as he sat up, "You never drink."

Kneeling down I pressed the rag to the side of his tired face and he closed his eyes. Leaning into my hand his hand overlapped mine completely covering it. My heart started to pound. His breathing was shallow, uneven, telling me he was probably going to hurl up the contents of his stomach. His face was pale and covered in beads of cold sweat.

"Please tell me you at least got a taxi to come back up here?" I sighed.

Masaomi's eyes suddenly opened but they weren't hazy anymore. They were dilated and sharp and clear, as if he'd come back into his mind, and they were full of fear.

"Masaomi?"

"I-I couldn't save him."

I frowned as I wiped the other side of his face, "Save who?"

Without warning Masaomi grabbed my shoulders and held them tight.

"I couldn't save him no matter what I did!"

"Shhhhh! Shhh!" I hissed at him, "Masaomi-"

He pulled me towards him and our lips clashed. _**Wha**_ -Instantly I felt heat rise to my cheeks and the tips of my ears suddenly making my clothes seem too confining. Masaomi's lips were soft, hot and tinged with the sharp taste of bourbon. As I breathed in my chest pressed against his firmly and butterflies were running rampant in my stomach making something deep twist tightly like a spring.

Then he pulled away.

His head fell foreword resting on my shoulder, "I love you. I can't lose you. I can't lose you. I love you Lex."


	10. Chapter 10

Secrets

" _Why is she down here?"_

" _Shouldn't she be sleeping up-"_

" _Lex?"_

 _I heard their voices before I even opened my eyes._

 _I knew it was Azusa and Tsubaki and Wataru speaking._

 _Slowly I opened my heavy eyes, feeling drugged, and saw Wataru alone standing in front of me. I smiled and opened my mouth to ask-_

" _Why are you dying?"_

 _My heart suddenly clenched in my chest, "Wha-"_

" _Why are you dying?" he cut me off._

 _The cabin room around us began to melt and drip away leaving only Wataru and I. He cast a tall grey shadow against the inky void we occupied now while I cast nothing._

" _Wataru?" my voice shook._

" _Why're you dying?" he asked slowly. As he reverted into a human puddle._

" _Wata-"_

"Hey! Come look at this!"

I woke with a start, my eyes flying open, and fell from the narrow sofa smacking into the coffee table before touching down on the wood floor. _Damn, it's cold down here_.

"Lex!" Azusa gasped.

"Wataru!" Tsubaki scorned, "We told you to be quiet!"

Rolling onto my back I felt shivers roll off of me. Tsubaki took my hand and hauled me up onto my feet easily.

"Are you alright?"

Chilly goosebumps were running amuck now up and down my body. Tsubaki let go of my hand and I plopped back down onto the couch rubbing my tired eyes. _What a nasty dream_. I shivered and yawned.

"Why're you sleeping on the couch Lex?" Azusa asked joining me on the couch, "You know it can't be good for you."

Tsubaki took up post on the coffee table, opposite me, trapping my knees between his. I rubbed my sweaty palms over my flannel pjs. What was I supposed to say? _**Oh I was awoken by a drunken skunk named Masaomi, of who I helped up to his room, and in his drunken stupor he gave me some tongue then confessed his love**_. I shook my head. That would end badly for sure. Looking up I focused passed Tsubaki's shoulder to Wataru who was watching quietly with wide eyes.

"What's going on outside Wataru?" I called softly with a smile.

He muttered, "Everything's covered in snow."

Tsubaki put his hand on my knee, making me jump, "Lex-"

Quickly I stood up, brushing aside his hand, and went to Wataru.

"Show me." I encouraged.

He turned back to the eastern windows and together we walked out onto the snowy porch. Subaru, in his grey sweats and hoody, was already standing at the banister staring off into the distance.

"Wow." My breathe fogged the air and the snow underfoot bit into my naked soles.

Beyond the boundaries of the deck was a picture perfect landscape. The towering trees to the left and right, had turned barren much earlier but, were covered in delicate sheets of snow. The clearing between the trees was blanketed giving steep depth to the rolling knolls and hills. At its bottom the lake had iced over and in the distance the sharp mountains were as fangs against the rising morning sun. Without hesitation I turned back, running into the cabin, and grabbed a box of mega big trash bags.

"EVERYONE WAKE UP!" I screamed joyfully, "IT SNOWED! WHOO-HOOOO!"

"Lex!" Azusa called, "You're still in your pajamas!"

Ignoring his concern I ran back outside, tore a bag from the box leaving the box behind, jumped over the banister and landed on my trash bag into the snow. Instantly I started to sled down the run.

"Wait for me sis!"

Looking back I saw Wataru wriggle free of Subaru and follow. Reaching the bottom I dug in my heels and stopped. Turning round I popped up onto my knees and caught Wataru as he came in hot! The force sent both of us tumbling and sprawled across the feathery white snow. I yowled as snow slipped down my pants and up my shirt.

Wataru laughed, "That was fun! Let's do it again!"

"Okay!"

Grabbing up our make-shift 'sleds' we headed back up towards the cabin. The deck had filled quickly after my morning shout it seemed.

"Are you crazy?" Kaname yawned.

Natsume looked grumpy, "You're going to catch a death of a cold! The both of you!"

At that comment I started to laugh uncontrollably. _As if a cold would be a worry_!

"Oh come guys!" Wataru whined, "It's fun!"

Tsubaki snatch up my bag as we reached the deck, "Slide down with me Lex!"

"Sure!"

It took a while but eventually everyone woke up, fully, and came out to check it all out. Ukyo and Hikaru were sipping coffee while they talked on the deck. Subaru had joined Tsubaki and Iori in building a snowman obstacle course in which Azusa and Wataru were zipping through. Kaname and Louis were amidst a snowball fight and Yusuke joined ambushing the two. Futo was inside, being grouchy, with Natsume and Masaomi was MIA still. _I hope he's okay_.

Gazing back at the cabin I suddenly felt very anxious. The sun had come over the mountains, leaving a nasty glare across the windows, making it impossible to see inside. Last night had been…unexpected. Still I could taste him, mingled with bourbon on my lips, and feel his tongue graze mine. I blinked coming back to reality. My cheeks and ears rapidly felt hot. Something cold hit me hard in the back making me flex as I turned to spot my attacker. Tsubaki pointed to the lumpy snowman next to him, as he laughed, where I could see Subaru hiding.

"Subaru!" I bellowed charging through the snow with high knees.

Tsubaki shoved his out into the open, giving me a clear shot, but I suddenly sank down as my leg gave out. I sank to my knees but quickly scooped up a handful of snow and hit Subaru in the butt.

"Yea!" Tsubaki cheered.

 _Oh crap_. I could feel that all-too-familiar ache growing in my bones. Carefully I stood, willing my body to work, as I realized no one had noticed the blunder. Masaomi hadn't gotten up yet, and I didn't want to wake him, so I hadn't taken my meds; I'd forgotten that vital step in the joy of being around family. Steadily I made my way towards the cabin, the snow around my feet turning to quicksand, and everyone's laughter became static in my ears.

"Hey Lex!"

I looked back, a painful, time consuming move, to see Azusa waving me over.

"I'll be back!" I called.

From the snow, up the stairs, across the deck I managed but as soon as I crossed the threshold I wanted to collapse. Leaning on the couch, hoping no one was looking, I started to pant.

"Alexis…"

My heart jumped, painfully in my chest, as I looked up across the room into the kitchen. Masaomi was standing there watching me with panicked eyes.

"Help." I managed to croak.

He practically threw down the mug in his hands. In three long strides he'd closed the distance between us, scooped me up into his arms, and carried me upstairs.

"You should have woken me up." He growled mounting the stairs with haste.

Closing my eyes I rested my head against his chest and curled my fingers in his wrinkled shirt trying to keep from screaming with the pain. I heard a door swing open in front of us and then close behind us.

"It's only nine. The medication should've lasted longer than this." He muttered setting me down on the bed.

Slowly I opened my eyes and stared at the blank ceiling above. I was back into Masaomi's loft and on his bed. On top of the pain I felt my face flush red. Did he remember what happened? Did he know what he said last night?

"Take off your pants."

I lifted my head, cursing the ringing in my ears, "Scuse me?"

Masaomi pulled up his black doctor's bag slamming it on top of the dresser and flung it open. Out of it he withdrew a syringe and it was filled with an amber liquid that glowed in the morning light. I suddenly felt cold.

"What is that?"

Masaomi turned on me and my body seized as I tried to pull away.

"It's a concentration of the pill you take. This is stronger and longer lasting but I need to inject it into your thigh."

Tears formed in my eyes, "Please don't." I begged.

He stopped in his tracks and watched me.

"I-I hate needles." I cried.

"You will only need this once a week instead of three times a day." He told me, "Please Alexis."

I closed my eyes feeling the pain blooming in my nerves and wanted nothing but relief. Clumsily I grabbed at the waist band of my soaking pants and slipped it down. Masaomi set the syringe down next to me and gently freed one of my legs from the pant. Uncapping the needle I saw the silver glint and slammed my eyes shut quickly. Masaomi took hold of my naked thigh, his touch was searing hot, and then I felt the bite of the needle. Sucking in a sharp breath I dug my fingers into the bed comforter. The amber liquid inside the vile was bleeding into my veins and it felt like molten slag.

"M-Masaomi-"I groaned, "it's burning."

I felt the chilly needle withdraw from my inner thigh burning even worse on the way out. Quickly he pressed his thumb over the puncture point trying to stifle the pain.

"Be patient."

The amber liquid moved lethargically through my veins feeling like congealed blood instead of fluid. As unsettling as it felt the pain that was beginning to spurge my mind was slowly subsiding. Masaomi suddenly grabbed my hand, from where he was kneeling between my naked legs at the bottom of the bed, and held it tight squeezing it in intervals to keep me aware.

"L-Last night you said you couldn't lose me….."

Silence.

"What happened when you were called in?"

The room was silent except for my heart which was pounding in my ears at his touch. As the amber worked its way through me it quieted the fiery nerve endings, relaxed my tense muscles, and squashed the furnace in my marrow. It was working far faster and far better than the pill which was always questionable as far as efficiency and duration.

"One of my patients-"he mumbled breaking the silence, ", a young boy, had taken a turn for the worse. He was scheduled for surgery tomorrow but….."

As the haze in my mind cleared I could pick up on the anxiety in Masaomi's voice which was more frightening than anything else I'd come against. It wasn't like him to be afraid let alone show such things. Out of all the brothers he was the calmest and most reserved.

I squeezed his warm hand encouragingly, "Tell me. When you speak things out they lose their power."

He sighed heavily, "He had cancer of the brain." _Oh shit_. "It was contained but last night the sack burst while I was trying to remove it. He died instantly from the pressure release."

 _Okay…..Some things lose their power when you speak them out but…_ Masaomi's hold on my hand turned painful. I squeezed as hard as I could.

"That's why….."He said in a sultry, soft voice, "I can't lose you. I-I love you too much now."

His thumb left my inner thigh only to be replaced by his lips. I jumped feeling a strange shock run through me completely destroying the lingering pain. Letting go of his hand, he lifted his lips from my thigh as I sat up.

"Masaomi." I hummed wanting to feel more of him touching me, "I am not that little boy." I told him sternly framing his wonderful face with my hands, "It is not your fault that he died. I am not going to die until I am very old and wrinkled. I promise."

His brown eyes stared at me sharp and clear and devoid of the haze of booze. Masaomi smiled and buried his hand in my messy hair gently raking his fingers across my head.

" _I love you too Masaomi_." I whispered feeling my face blush up to the tips of my ears, " _I love you as a man_."

It was so fast my head began to spin. Masaomi rose up on his knees meeting our lips together while he pushed me back onto the bed. Nipping at my bottom lip I gasped feeling him hovering over me, feeling how small I was compared to him, and his tongue slipped inside my mouth. Butterflies exploded in the pit of my stomach. His lips were warm, powerful, translating the fear and hunger of a man within reach of his hearts prize. His hands roamed up and down my sides, his thumbs rubbing over my hips, stomach and the sides of my breasts.

I pulled away gasping desperately for air, the pulse in my neck thundering violently against my skin, and his mouth attacked my neck. Sucking and nipping all I could do was writhe beneath his assault. I buried my hands in his soft, thick hair keeping my eyes closed. Lowering his hips I could feel his manhood hard, throbbing against my folds with only the thin barrier of my panties to keep him at bay. Damn things! He rolled up my shirt exposing my skin to the cool air of the room and the fluffy feel of the comforter.

"Your breathtaking." He mumbled against my collar bone as he kissed lower and lower.

"Uhhh."

It was all I could pant as my mind was being scrambled and a fire deep in my core was turning to an inferno. Suddenly the shirt and panties I was wearing was too much, too constricting. Clumsily I pulled at the barriers getting frustrated as my limbs didn't seem to obey my will. Masaomi stopped his kisses and, chuckling, gently peeled my shirt from me and….my panties. Now I was completely naked.

"Beautiful." He hummed like some sacred chant.

Abruptly embarrassed I shut my eyes and tried to cover my chest but Masaomi held back my arms by the wrist. Dipping his head he latched onto my breast playing with my hard nipple. I moaned, arching my back, and he took more into his mouth. Molten fingertips skidded down the length of my front drawing lazy circles and swirls until they reached the crest of my core.

"I love you Alexis." Masaomi breathed against my breast.

I wrapped my hands around his strong forearms trying not to dig my nails in, "I love you too Masaomi."

Opening my eyes I saw him smiling down at me. His finger slipped over the crest and down into my folds where I realized my body was completely dripping, puffy and throbbing. Masaomi's eyebrows jumped up his face in surprise but quickly lowered as he smiled warmly. Leaning down he kissed me, diving his tongue into my mouth to play with mine, as one of his fingers slipped in.

"Ahhhhh." I groaned hungrily into his mouth.

Slowly he pumped me with one finger stirring up a deep spring that was ready to snap. With each pump my body arched, my legs were shaking and opening up wider for him giving more access. Then he added a second finger. The pleasure was tented with a bit of stinging making me go ridged. He kissed at my neck softly as I held to his upper arms trying to work through it. Gently he widened and narrowed his fingers.

"Is it hurting?"

I nodded a bit unable to speak.

He kissed my closed eyes softly, "I'm sorry. It will feel better later."

"I trust you." I whimpered looking up at him.

He smiled. After a moment more I grew accustomed to the strange sensation but it wasn't satisfying.

"Masaomi…T-This doesn't feel right."

"Of course." He smiled as he pulled his fingers from me.

It was sad feeling not having him in such an intimate space. Leaning back he stripped out of his shirt, revealing a surprisingly lean ripped body, and then his pants went to the floor. His hard-on was free and stiff and straight and wide. I couldn't help but stare. Grabbing my hands he lifted me up so that I straddled his lap putting his manhood between us. We kissed as we held one another feeling each other's bodies.

"A-Are you ready?" he asked breathy and red in the face.

I captured his lips as the signal to go ahead and thankfully he understood. Grabbing my hips he lifted me up easily and positioned me over him so that I could barely feel his cock at my entrance.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled against my lips.

Gently, steadily he slid into me. The motion made him groan breathily against my lips. The pressure made me shift my hips and when he pressed against my virginity I couldn't wait and just dropped my hips.

"Lex!"

It burned and stung bringing tears to my eyes but I was glad to have it done and over with. Masaomi held me close as we both started to tremble.

"Why….."

I kissed his chest, "If it's you I can take anything."

Growling into my shoulder he bit my neck softly making me moan. Gradually he began to move in and out and the pressure from his thickness was so wonderful. My body moved on its own sliding up and down, grinding, and tightening around him. We laid back and Masaomi got a better swing plunging deeper and deeper into my core pushing that spring close to bursting. My back arched, our sweat mingled, we kissed and bit and pulled and held one another.

He thrust into me, deep and powerful, and that spring came undone. My body rocked with spasms and I felt him throbbing inside me as he released. Collapsing onto me we panted together him, lazily pumping into me, and me, lazily thrusting my hips up to meet him, until we could no longer move.

I smiled, "Masaomi-"

"I love you Lex." He breathed heavily, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Wrapping my arms around him I ran my fingertips up and down his strong back making him shiver.

"I love you Masaomi. I love you with all my heart."

 **Knock Knock Knock**.

We both froze, holding our breaths, and looked back at the door **. It wasn't locked**!

"Hey Masa-bro!" Tsubaki called from the other side, "Have you seen Lex anywhere?"


	11. Chapter 11

Flight

" _Good feelings gone now_." I whispered.

We scrambled away from another as Tsubaki knocked again.

"Hang on Tsubaki!" Masaomi snapped.

As soon as I rolled off the edge of the bed and my feet hit the floor I ran for the window. Jumping up onto the dresser beneath it I snagged a bed sheet, threw open the window-

"Are you alright?"

-heard the door open and lunged outside. Hitting the roof, it was slick with frigid snow; I never got my footing, and sailed off the edge of the roof. Falling four stories I landed, buck naked wrapped in a sheet, in a pile of snow at the edge of the driveway.

"Where's Tsubaki?" Futo growled, "I want to leave on time for once."

"He went to go get Lex." Subaru commented.

Sitting in a deep hole in a pile of snow I started to shiver as I listened to the others, literally feet away from me, as they piled into the car. How they'd not seen me fly off the roof had to be a miracle! Or maybe I was so white I'd blended. I heard car doors slamming and watched through a patch in the snow as Tsubaki quickly joined them.

Natsume hung out the window, "Where's Lex?"

"Masa said she was getting ready. They'll meet us in town later." Tsubaki called sourly as he climbed into the car.

I watched the black SUV back up, nearly touching its bumper to me, before rolling down the long sloping driveway. As soon as the car was out of sight I sighed a sigh of relief.

"Lex!" Masaomi yelled out the window.

Immediately my hand shot straight up, like some nerd in math class burning with an answer, out of the snow pile, "Yo!"

"Wha-Stay right there! I'm coming to get you!"

 _Well yea…..where else am I going to go wrapped in a see through sheet_. Seconds later I heard the front door slam open and hoped Masaomi hadn't just put a hole in the wall. Hikaru was going to throw a fit if he had. The snow covering me was swiftly pulled away but some of it fell onto me making me squeal like a child touched by something slimy.

"Lex! Are you hurt?!"

I looked up, shaking away the snow that clung to me, and smiled at him. His brown eyes were wide, he was panting from running down the stairs, and his face was flush red.

"Of course I am!" he grabbed my hand and helped me to stand, "Falling four stories is not going to kill me."

Clinging the soaked sheet to my naked body I felt the cold air nip away at anything exposed. Masaomi quickly scooped me up in his arms soaking his shirt with what the sheet had attracted.

"Why would you go out the window?!"

Being cradled in his arms, like some precious treasure, I clung to him and laughed.

"It was my first instinct!"

Coming up onto the porch he nudged the front door open with his foot, "Someone comes walking in a room and your first reaction is to jump out a window?!" he scoffed.

Inside the air was much warmer, more pleasant and it was staving off the bitter cold that had clung to me for the five minutes I was in hiding. Masaomi made his way down the long hall towards the living room his footsteps echoing in the quiet of the cabin.

"Uh, yea, especially when that said someone is your brother who would've caught us after we just had sex."

Masaomi came around the corner-

"That was an interesting conversation."

Masaomi froze at the sound of the deep, angry voice and his hold on me turned tight.


	12. Chapter 12

The Dictator

Ukyo, with an angry glare in his blue eyes, stared down Masaomi who set me down on my feet gently. Swiftly Masaomi hid me away from Ukyo's glare. Peering around my protector I felt an eerie vibe roll down my spine. I'd never seen Ukyo so mad or ever mad really but at this moment he looked like he was ready to punch Masaomi's lights out.

"Masaomi." He snapped, "What the hell are you doing?!"

Ukyo's angry voice filled the cabin to the rafters. Masaomi stayed silent.

"Don't tell me you actually….With her….."

I frowned and stepped around Masaomi, "Whadda ya mean her? I'm not diseased!"

"Alexis go up to your room." He said without looking at me.

Tying my sheet tight around my chest I planted my hands on my hips and stubbornly stood on the spot.

Masaomi spoke quietly, "Ukyo now's not the time-"

"Don't try to weasel your way out of this Masaomi!"

"Ukyo it wasn't his fault!" I protested.

Suddenly Ukyo looked down at me and at that moment he looked like a giant in my eyes. His scathing glare held no glimmer of mercy for me although it lacked the rage he had towards his brother.

"You did this then?"

"Yep!"

His jaw tightened, "He didn't coax you into having sex with him?"

"Ukyo!" barked Masaomi.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh please! Out of everyone here Masaomi is the least perverted and would never 'coax' me into anything. He's been nothing but a gentleman! So stop playing the 'poor, helpless girl' card."

Silence.

"I am a woman and I have made my decision." I grabbed Masaomi by the hand and marched him by Ukyo who stood stunned on the spot.

"You're not a woman at fifteen!" he barked after us as we went up the stairs.

Reaching the second landing I looked down from the loft at him, "First off I'm sixteen and second off I'll be seventeen in one more day-"

"The legal age is eighteen by law!"

"Prefecture age is thirteen for consent-"

" **The two of you will stop or I'll report Masaomi to the authorities**!" Ukyo threatened.

At the mention of that my blood ran cold, my heart stopped in my chest, and a bitter rage filled my veins. If Ukyo did report Masaomi he would go to prison for sure, lose his license, and lose his life…all because of me. I wasn't worth it. Letting go of Masaomi's hand I turned back, marched down the steps, and went toe-to-toe with Ukyo.

"Ukyo-"I growled low in my throat like a cornered animal, "If anything happens to Masaomi, if anyone else finds out, I will make it my personal goal in life that those decisions will haunt you till the end of your days. That the weight of that misery will bear down to crush you into nothing but paste and that it will leave you hollow and soulless."

His bright blue eyes shook with the words I promised to him.

"This is my promise to you. My promise is my bond."

With all cards on the table I turned and left.

The ride down into the little mountain town that resided at the bottom was very awkward. Ukyo drove while Masaomi sat in the passenger seat staring out the window and I was in the backseat watching the two of them. _I hope they can, at least, act normal when we meet up with the others_. On either side of the road the surrounding forest was coated with white snow. It was so pretty but at the same time so sad. When the winter snows came they killed the flowers and the grass and sent the animals into hiding making the world seem as if it had come to a complete still. _Maybe…Maybe I was born in winter because my life was meant to be short_. I could recall some story dad had told me about a girl born in a harsh winter and when she died before she could marry her spirit became a vengeful spirit. _What was it? A kitsune_? Sitting back I smiled at the thought _. I would be one badass fox-lady_. I turned my attention to the front window and watched the road widen. More cabins could be seen, just off the main vein, further in the woods signaling that we were getting closer to the village. I sighed heavily tired of the awkward, angry silence.

"So what's down in the village anyways?" I asked the silence.

Ukyo shifted in his seat as he slowed the car but didn't respond. Masaomi twisted round in his seat to look back at me.

"It was settled but Dutch sailors believe it or not. They got lost in a storm and wrecked along the rocks."

"Oh?" I squeaked, "So when they got up here they just settled down?"

"Pretty much."

I rubbed my hands together excitedly, "Sounds like fun!"

The village was really just that. A village. It had one main street, which was the street we had to drive through to get to the cabin, with quaint little Dutch cottages lining either side. Businesses were on the bottom floor and it looked like homes were on the top floor. The roofs were rounded, sloping and made of thick, dry, dark thatch and the walls were made of dark clay. There were many windows filled with beautiful stained glass that shinned in the afternoon sun and old fashioned wooden sighs hung over the sidewalks, over passing patrons heads, advertising each shops goods.

"Oh how cute!" I gushed tearing off my seatbelt and climbing up front to sit on the armrest between Ukyo and Masaomi.

"Lex get back in your seat!" Ukyo yelped.

Smiling I leaned against him, "Oh look you talk now."

He frowned.

"Maybe I should do more dangerous stuff if it means you'll be normal? Eh?"

Anger had been the only expression Ukyo had worn since finding us out but it quickly washed away leaving behind something a little more amused. I elbowed him in the ribs playfully and his smile increased.

"There's the Ukyo I know." I encouraged.

The people walking along the sidewalks were bundled up in parkas and hoodies and sweats trying to fight the bitter winter cold. They carried steaming coffee in their hands while they chatted; some carried big shop bags while others held each other. Ukyo pulled off the narrow main street into a parking lot that had been freshly plowed leaving towering banks on the edges of the lot. Before Ukyo even put the car in park I scrambled over Masaomi and jumped out the car. My shoes hit gravel and it crunched brittle beneath my weight.

"H-Holy crap it's colder down here!" I squealed jumping up and down.

"That's because the sun doesn't reach down here during the winter." Masaomi said urgently as he rushed over to me, "Put your jacket on."

When I had moved from the States I hadn't had much in the way of winter clothing mainly because I wore the same clothes all year round. Black tennis-shoes, blue jeans and some sort of tank or short sleeve tee. Before we'd left for the cabin Hikaru had taken me shopping finding me what I needed for the trip. Masaomi helped me shrugged into the bright pink down jacket I'd packed and, coming around the car, Ukyo pulled a black beanie down onto my head.

"Thank you Ukyo."

He shivered and huffed, fogging the air, while he zipped up his own coat.

"Where do we go first?" I asked the two brothers, "Are we going to meet everyone?"

Masaomi nodded, "Yes."

Ukyo pulled out his phone, "Hikaru texted me some directions but it's hard to make sense of."

Masaomi chuckled, "Sounds like him."

Ukyo snorted with a partial smirk as he scrolled through his phone.

"What does the text say Ukyo? Bet I can find them."

Sighing heavily he already looked defeated, "He just says to look for a sign of good luck."

"Hmmmmm." I chewed my lip.

Masaomi put his hand on my shoulder, "Any ideas?"

His touch made my heart flutter and my body warm.

"W-Well-"Ukyo quickly removed Masaomi's hand, "this is the main street right?"

Ukyo nodded once.

"Then I saw we wander and when I see it I'll know!"

Ukyo shivered, "Well we won't find them standing here."

Together we headed out of the parking lot and onto the sidewalk to be quickly swallowed by the village around us. As we walked, passing by lovers and families, I really wanted to hold Masaomi's hand but with The Dictator right behind us it was impossible. It was probably not a good idea either in the sense that one of the other brothers could see us and how would we explain that?

The smells of sweet bakery goods and delicious foods filled the air. There was a leather smith shop and an ancient blacksmiths set up as a mini-museum. Lots of trinkets filled the windows, reflected the dim rays of sun that managed to break through the thick forest and even cuckoo-cuckoo clocks that sounded with every hour. Instead of getting down about not being able to hold Masaomi's hand I buried myself in the everything that was The Village. The main street gently sloped off to the left and the sidewalk followed with it. A fat orange cat sat up high in a cottage window looking down upon the crowds as if he was the superior ruler.

"Hey Ukyo I found it!" I called back.

"Where?"

I pointed up the street to a large wooden sign, "The Backwards Horse."; the sign depicted an upside down horse shoe wrapped in greenery and flowers, "That's a sign of good luck."

Masaomi smiled warmly down at me, "Lead on Lex."

The smell of heavy food was far more pungent here on this block than that of the former we'd just come through. My feet hurried of their own accord as my stomach growled loudly. When we reached the sign we were welcomed by an arched doorway left open and welcoming. Stepping in I fell in love with the place.

It was very den like but warm and cozy. The ceilings were low, to which Ukyo found out quickly, and the thick support timbers were visible. Everything was earthly with dark wood floors, walls, a massive stone fireplace with a 360 view, long wood picnic-like tables and even heavy lantern fixtures that had real candles burning in them.

"It looks like a fantasy movie-set." Masaomi gasped.

Ukyo, rubbing his head, took the few steps down to the main floor carefully, "It smells good."

"Finally you three make it!"

I spotted them first, everyone, sitting in the very back at the biggest table in the room. Tsubaki looked up, smiled, and waved us over. Waitresses in little Dutch smocks moved about taking orders with trays in hand. As we weaved between tables my eyes caught sight of rich things like gravy and biscuits and crepes. My stomach growled, painfully, impatient to be fed.

"We were wondering when you were going to show up." Natsume smiled.

Futo growled, "If ever."

Hikaru scooted over and patted the empty space next to him, "Sit. We only ordered drinks."

Taking his invitation I sat down next to Hikaru and Iori quickly took up post on my other side making Masaomi and Ukyo take seats on the opposite side. Wataru was quiet as he happily colored on a piece of brown butcher's paper.

"What took you so long?" Hikaru hummed looking over a menu.

Ukyo choked on his water that he was sipping.

I laughed, "That was my fault-"and handed him a napkin, "I just couldn't pull myself from that steam shower."

Hikaru looked over at me and smiled but it wasn't a normal smile. It was a sly one like he knew something. In any case whatever it was wasn't about to come out at the table so I shook it off.

Iori set down a bottle of soda in front of me, "Its peaches and cream soda. You're favorite." He smiled.

"Thank you Iori!" I smiled picking it up and taking a sip.

As I drank my soda I saw something flash across Masaomi's brown eyes…..a flicker of hurt…..and looked at him questioningly.

I set my soda down, "So what looks good to everyone?"

Yusuke was idly looking over the selection when he set his menu down and sighed, "There's not a soba noodle bowl anywhere in sight."

"Of course not." Azusa laughed, "This is a Dutch colony. The Dutch don't have soba noddle."

Yusuke sighed puffing at a piece of stray hair. Hikaru handed me his menu and skimmed it.

"What looks good to you?" Hikaru asked leaning in close.

"Hikaru give her some space." Subaru warned.

I didn't mind Hikaru being so close but when I peeked up at Masaomi it seemed he was a little irritated. I looked back to my menu.

"It all looks so good to be honest. I'm not sure what to pick."

Tsubaki set his menu down and leaned on the table, "I'll share mine with you."

"Thank you Tsubaki."

Wataru pipped up, "Me too!"

"I'll share too if you'd like." Azusa hummed.

I smiled, "How about we all order what we want and then we all share a piece with one another?"

"Good idea." Natsume smiled.

Under the table I felt Masaomi rest his foot against mine and I nearly jumped through the roof. Hikaru chuckled into his glass of wine.

"You're drinking already?" I asked.

"It's afternoon." Hikaru excused.

Iori snorted, "You're an alcoholic."

Reaching around me Hikaru smacked Iori in the shoulder playfully nearly tipping over his glass of water.

"So, Lex, how do you like the village so far?" Louis asked.

I smiled brightly as I put my hands on my lap, "It's so beautiful! I've always liked the Dutch style of architecture."

"Really?" perked Yusuke.

"Uh-huh."

Ukyo rubbed his head, "I am not a fan."

"Did you dent the wood, dear brother, when you walked into it?" Kaname teased.

"Hmmmm." Ukyo sighed.

"Hopefully you don't get a knot." I commented….. _and hopefully that knock to the head made you forget what you saw_.

That would be amazingly lucky if such a thing were to happen but I doubted it. The waitresses showed up quickly taking our drink and food orders and disappeared back into the kitchen. It was a good thing we were all well behaved, for the most part, as big as a party as we were. Wataru showed me his drawing of the family he'd made and explained why Ukyo had a princess crown on. I couldn't help but laugh. Tsubaki and Azusa were going over new audition prospects while Hikaru and Ukyo delved into some deep conversation about the temple he worked at. Iori and I talked about flowers and the little town. Yusuke and Futo somehow got in a spat and Natsume was the one to separate the two to opposite ends of the long table. Masaomi would move his foot, every now and then, against mine bringing a blush to my face that I hoped the others didn't notice. When our food arrived, fairly quickly, everyone cut up what they had and shared. My plate came back piled high with man-sized servings. Looking at the mountain I could feel my eyes bug out.

"You haven't been eating much lately." commented Azusa quietly.

I guessed it was true. The pill soften killed my appetite and with no drive to eat I didn't really think about it but that didn't seem to be the case at the moment. My stomach was curling and twisting as the pain there spurred it on.

"January is right around the corner." Masaomi hummed, "It's the coldest of months and you're more prone to get sick so you need to eat more."

I looked back to my plate, "Are you guys sure you're not trying to fatten me up so you can cook me for Christmas?"

Wataru gaped, "What?! Who would do that?"

I shook my head as I started laughing, "It's an old fairy tale. Some children wander into an old witches house and she fattens them up to eat them."

Yusuke looked down at Wataru, "Haven't you been read that story?"

"Nuh-uh." He said around a mouthful of crepe.

"How does it end again?" Futo asked suddenly.

I shrugged, "It depends on which ending you read."

Picking up my fork I dug into my food and tasted fresh mashed potatoes.

"What does happen to those children who go against their parents' wishes?" Ukyo asked slowly, ominously.

I frowned and swallowed my mouthful, "First of their parents don't tell them to stay out of the forest or away from strangers. It's their _**father**_ that leads them out into the woods. He plans to abandon them because his new wife doesn't like them."

Subaru shivered as he ate but I knew it wasn't from the air.

"Sounds like a bad deal." Tsubaki scoffed.

I nodded, "There are two endings. One is that the children shove the old witch into the oven and cook her. The other is that she cooks them. So basically no matter what you do someone gets cooked."

"I wonder why parents would tell their children such things?" Louis pondered out loud.

"People were ignorant back then." Azusa offered.

I nodded, "It's the same reason why we tell our children to be careful of strangers. They fear the unknown." I took a bite of my strawberry crepe, "And for good reason."

Ukyo finished chewing his eggs, "Although the real danger came from their parents."

I looked up from my plate and caught his glare.

"It seems that fairy tale would place strangers as well as family in the same place. _Untrustworthy_."

Iori bumped his leg into mine and I shifted.

"Indeed."


	13. Chapter 13

The Dictator II

The cabin was dark and silent. After a few rounds of board games in the living room, accompanied by coco, everyone had gone to sleep. Except for me. Lying in my bed I couldn't help but toss and turn again _. Another night restless_? The idea was less than exciting. Sitting up I stared across my room out the western windows to the night sky. The pane had fogged over with the heat of the cabin and long icicles were hanging from the roof overhang.

Getting up I walked across the room to the window and stared out. High in the sky was a full moon and its silvery rays had colored everything in a pale hue. The towering trees were casting shadows across the glittering snow that encased everything. Near the feet of the great, bare trees scampered a pack of thick wolves and they were focused on the hunt. My throat suddenly felt dry. Turning away I crossed my room and slipped out into the hallway. _Usually I'm exhausted by now_.

Sauntering down the hallway I felt a twinge on the inside of my thigh and instantly recalled that amber shot. The minimal pain the memory brought was washed away by what happened…afterwards and I couldn't help but smile until it hurt. _Maybe that shot is giving me the jitters_. I came out of the hall, passing a door where I could hear Kaname snoring behind it, and onto the landing…

" _Do you even know what you've done_?"

I froze short of going down the stairs and held my breathe. I'd heard Ukyo hiss in the darkness. But there wasn't a reply. Ghosting back from the stairs I hid in the shadows of the overhanging floor above and peered over the banister down into the living room. Masaomi and Ukyo were sitting at the dining room table, opposed to one another, in the stillness of the night. Between them a single lamp was turned on fighting away the darkness.

Ukyo folded his arms in front of his chest and glared at his brother, " _She's a little girl Masaomi._ "

 _A little girl_? I wrinkled my nose at the accusation. _Come midnight I'll be seventeen damn it_!

" _Don't tell me you love her. You can't_ -"

My breathe hitched in my throat and my heart slowed.

" _What other reason could there be._ " Masaomi stated strongly.

Ukyo rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers and sighed heavily, " _Masaomi this is a bad idea. Legally, morally…..This won't work._ "

Masaomi smiled gently but in the shadow of the mini-lamp he looked drained leaving me to wander just how long he and Ukyo had been at this.

" _Ukyo, brother, I-I cannot tell you how or when but…..Lex…"_

He sighed as if happy and content filling my heart with warmth.

" _I know that the day she came back into our home, when she was standing in our doorway, I knew that I loved her. I love her as a woman_ -"

" _ **Yea but she's not Masaomi**_!" Ukyo shouted slamming his hand on the table.

The loud smack echoed like Thor had appeared in the cabin and I nearly jumped over the railing in surprise. Masaomi stood up slowly.

" _Ukyo I'm tired and I want nothing but sleep. Excuse me_."

Ukyo watched his brother go with venomous eyes.

" _Oh, brother, I will tell you this much out of personal concern_." Masaomi called back as he reached the bottom of the stairs, " _Alexis's is trusting you to not say anything about this. Her's is not a trust I would break lightly_."

Ukyo remained silent but I could tell he was glaring Masaomi down. I had to fight the instinct to throw something heavy at him. Who knew Ukyo could be such a bully! The stairs creaked in their usual way as Masaomi made his way up to the landing. Quickly I followed along the wall, dragging my fingers across its smooth surface, and headed up a flight of stairs to the third level.

Reaching the third level I crossed to the far wing again only to bump into Hikaru at the base of the steps leading up to Masaomi's loft. Hikaru, in a robe, stared down at me in surprise. Lifting my finger to my lips I passed by him silently and headed up to the loft. Out of all the brothers I trusted Hikaru the most. He was older, wiser, more experienced in the ways of the world but he also understood the heart. Coming to the landing of the loft I let myself into Masaomi's room and hoped he wouldn't mind my coming in. The smell of him, disinfectant and citrus, hit me like a ton of bricks making me giddy…..like stupidly giddy. In the dim space I did a happy little girly gig-

" _Lex?_ "

Until I heard my name being called. Instantly I stopped, I was sure looking like an idiot, and turned back to the door. Masaomi stared down at me as he closed the bedroom door softly and **locked** it.

" _Um…_.."What was I supposed to say?, " _I-I can't sleep_."

A warm smile washed away the weight in his face making something wonderful blossom in my heart.

" _Just who I wanted to hold_." He whispered closing the distance and wrapping me up in his arms.

He was warm and big and strong. Masaomi's presence pushed away the cold touch of Death that writhed just over my skin. He brought the life of butterflies to my stomach, made my heart beat faster, and, for once, made standing still feel content to me. Forever and ever I could stand here, in the moonlit darkness of this room, just in his arms safe. Masaomi kissed the top of my head and I sighed contently relaxing against him as the heat of his presence began to ease me into sleep.

" _Are you okay_?" I asked against his chest.

" _Of course_." He replied calmly, " _I have lived with Ukyo all my life. I am used to his 'moral tantrums'_."

I pulled away a little and looked up at him, " _You know if you want I can go straighten him out?_ "

Masaomi reached up and ran his fingers through my air lovely, " _Hmmm_." He chuckled, " _As entertaining as that would be I don't think it would be wise_."

A sobering thought hit me and I felt my smile fall away. My contentment replaced by anxiety.

" _Lex_?"

" _H-He does have a point though_." I muttered sourly, " _Th-This….What would happen if they find out?_ "

Masaomi took my hand and led me to the bed where he made me sit. I hadn't realized it until he started to check my pulse but I was shaking pretty bad.

" _Who do you mean by 'they'_?"

"Our brothers."

I frowned as soon as I said it. It sounded really weird. Masaomi's cold fingers trailed down my neck, away from my ripping pulse, to my chest where he pressed his ear to listen to the beat.

" _I doubt any of them would fight our decision_." He reassured, " _I'm sure the lot of them would be shocked_."

I snorted.

" _Lex breathe normally or you're going to put yourself into shock_." He warned.

In the silence of the night I waited patiently while Masaomi finished up his doctor mode. Standing up a few minutes later after checking my vitals Masaomi went to the bathroom and got a glass of water. Returning to me he handed the glass over and I reluctantly took it.

" _What if Ukyo does goes to the police and reports you_?"

At that he froze on his way to the dresser. With his back to me I couldn't see his expression but I wished I could. At least then I could gauge his internal workings.

" _You'll lose everything_." I sighed, " _T-This was stupid wasn't it? I should've just kept my mouth shut-_ "

" _Alexis_ -"Masaomi turned and faced me, " _I love you and the risk is worth it_."

I stared over at him still questioning the viability of Ukyo's threat.

" _Whatever happens I will keep you safe and I will never blame you. I love you too_. _Remember? This isn't one sided_."

I brought the cup of water to my lips and quickly gulped it down. Masaomi went to the dresser and changed into a night shirt and some flannel pants. Slightly embarrassed I had to look the other way which made no sense! He came back to me quickly.

" _You said you can't sleep_?"

I nodded, " _I have jitters_."

" _Hmmmm_."he knelt down in front of me, " _Anything else different_?"

I thought it over, " _I have an appetite now and more energy_."

He smiled, " _Good_."

 _"I guess but I never had them before."_

" _I think it's a side effect of the injection I gave you. The serum is more concentrated that the pill_."

Standing up he kissed my forehead and went around climbing into bed. I stayed where I was at the foot and watched him. He smiled and patted the spot next to him. Equal parts excited and nervous I scrambled across the bed and dived under the sheets to cuddle up next to him. Lifting his arm he held me close against his side so I went into barnacle mode enjoying the contact.

" _Where did you get that stuff anyways_?"

He sighed heavily, " _It was after the boy had died_."

The atmosphere suddenly sobered and I couldn't help but put my hand over his heart. He held my hand tightly.

" _I knew the pills were losing their effectiveness which is why you had to take so many. It would've led to an overdose eventually that would've killed you. I took the pills to a colleague of mine and he made the serum_."

I yawned, " _Oh_." My eyelids suddenly felt heavy.

Again he kissed my forehead as we settled down for the night.

" _Close your eyes. Go to sleep_." He whispered, " _I love you Lex. Good night_."


	14. Chapter 14

The Rebels

A soft rapping woke me. Lifting my head from Masaomi's chest I glared at the bedroom door. The rapping came again. I wished I could shoot lasers at will.

" _Oh love birds_." Cooed Hikaru through the wood.

"What is it Hikaru?"

I jumped at the rumble of Masaomi's deep voice. _When'd he wake up?_ Sighing I curled up to him, closing my eyes, and wished the world would go away.

"The morning is early."

I groaned my displeasure. Hikaru chuckled.

"You might want to let Rapunzel out of the tower before the knights go up in arms."

I growled, "Damn it."

"Thank you, Hikaru." Masaomi called softly, "Unfortunately he has a point." He whispered into my hair.

I huffed, "Fine."

Masaomi kissed me softly on the lips and I sighed contently against him. His lips were so warm and gentle….then he pulled away and chortled warmly. The sound filled my chest with bubbles. Slowly I opened my eyes as he pet my hair lovingly. These moments, so far, were so precious and warm and rich like bourbon in a sunlit bottle. I loved each and every one of them.

"That is so dirty." I growled.

He shrugged apologetically, "I couldn't resist you anymore."

I leaned forward on hands and knees and kissed his nose, "Good reason." Then slipped from the bed, "But still dirty nonetheless."

He gave me a wry smile. Coming to the door I paused and then looked back. The dark circles under his eyes were gone, his skin had back its healthy glow, and there was this new spark about him. A good night's rest had done him well.

"I'll see you at breakfast?"

He nodded keeping that wry smile. Then I turned the knob, threw open the door, and stepped aside dramatically. Hikaru came falling into the room.

"Hikaru!" Masaomi yelped sitting up.

Lifting his head Hikaru gave me a mischievous smile, "Congrats you two!"

I crouched down next to him, "Eavesdropper."

He sat up and laughed, "Please! I saw you two coming to this a long time ago."

"How's that?" Masaomi asked getting out of bed, "We didn't even know!"

I looked over at my love, "Hikaru knows everything."

"What is this place?" I gawked as we filed through a long tunnel.

The air here smelled musty and salty, like chlorinated water, but it wasn't unpleasant. The tunnel we followed was made of grey rock and it snaked down deep into the earth. Next to me Louis was fanning himself with his free hand while his other held tightly to a white towel. It was humid and sticky making me sweat turning my clothes to a second skin.

I looked over at Louis, "Are you okay?"

Lazily he smiled at me and nodded, "Yes. Just….uncomfortable."

"It won't be like this for much longer!" Hikaru called from the front.

His sturdy voice echoed down to us in the back, as the tunnel was very narrow, we had to walk single file. Behind me I was aware of Masaomi and his wandering eyes. Grabbing my hair I peeled it off the back of my neck, feeling the slick moisture from the air, and quickly braided it. We passed by another set of candles, that lined the walls and sat on the floor, casting creatures shadows.

"Where is a Hikaru taking us?"

Yusuke, who was in front of me, snorted, "Why'd you trust him to lead you guys anywhere."

"I heard that!"

I smiled at Yusuke, who cringed at Hikaru's yell, and laughed. The sound echoed up and down the tunnel far reaching any one place we could be at once. Ahead everyone fanned out as the tunnel opened up and slightly cooler air beat back the hotter stuff.

"Wow."

My gasp bounced off the walls _. Now it makes sense_. Hikaru had insisted that we all go after sunset to this, my birthday surprise, and I wasn't disappointed. The tunnel ended into a massive grotto with a massive natural spring that covered the floor and high above moonlight was streaming in bouncing off the gems and polished stones sticking out of the walls. The main pool was a brilliant green and very deep as we couldn't see to the bottom. Beyond the main pool were tons of more archways and pools beyond them creating more grottos.

"This is beautiful." I whispered as I gawked around.

Hikaru stepped down into the first pool leaving his towel on a gem in the wall, "I thought you might like this, Lex, since you never seem to relax."

Without thinking I dropped my towel, stripped out of my clothes down to the bikini underneath, and jumped in. The hot water rolled over me, soaking everything, and instantly pulled little aches and pains from my skin. Breaking the surface I gasped in the water air, filling my lungs t capacity, and wiped the water from my eyes. The others watched Hikaru and me curiously.

"Come on guys! Get in. This is great!" I called swimming to the edge of the main pool.

Tsubaki jumped in splashing everyone. They groaned and whined.

"Now you have to get in!" I laughed.

Once everyone managed to get in the first pool they eventually expanded out to the others to relax. Floating around on my back in the main pool I closed my eyes and breathed easy just listening to hum of each brothers' voice. Hikaru was chatting up Ukyo who was keeping an eye on me since Masaomi had given him the slip into another pool. _This is wonderful_.

"Hey, Lex…."

I sat up, opening my eyes, and looked over at Hikaru.

"Why don't you try some of the other pools? This one is good for the skin but there's several that are good for something different. It's recommended that you dip in each one for a bit." He said giving me a wink.

I smiled, "Oh. Okay. Thanks Hikaru!"

Swimming to the edge I caught a dark look from Ukyo before flopping over the edge into another pool. Iori and Subaru looked at me curiously as I floundered about.

"Happy Birthday Lex." They said in unison.

"Thank you."

Again I went to the pool edge and flopped over the barrier into the next pool in search of my birthday treat.

"Lex."

But he found me. Several pools into the cavern I felt a warm touch on my wrist and turned. Masaomi was floating there, brown hair wet and dark clinging to his temples, watching me with fathomless brown eyes. This far back into the cavern no one could make us out and, as I watched them, no one seemed to pay us any mind. A warm, big hand cupped the side of my face pulling my attention and he kissed me deeply. Pulling away he hugged me and our bodies mingled together.

" _I love you Lex. Happy birthday_." He whispered in my ear.

I shivered feeling his breath against my skin. Beneath the water his hands slid down my sides to my thighs and lifted my legs so they wrapped around him. Holding me close we floated together in the heat of the pool.

"How're you feeling?" he asked softly pushing hair off of my forehead.

I sighed and rested my head against the crook of his neck, "Better now. Thank you Masaomi."

"I'm glad my calculations were right."

"Hmmm."

Gently he carded his fingers through my hair making me completely relax in his embrace. His touches were always so tender, even when he intended to make them rough, that it nearly made me cry. I never thought I would know such comfort in all my life.

I wrapped my arms around him shoulders, "Your amazing Masaomi."

"Hmm?"

I lifted my head and looked at him, "Trust me. You're amazing."

" _Uhhhhh_."

My back arched pushing my chest up towards the ceiling. In the dark of the night I could feel Masaomi deep inside me, pumping, stroking me, into a heated frenzy. His lips sucked at my nipple while one of his hands held my wrists above my head. His other hand wandered my body, which was trembling, down to grip my butt. I moaned, he kissed me to stifle the noise, and I felt him move into me again covering my body with goosebumps.

" _Hush hush my sweet_." He whispered as he released my lips from his.

Panting I stared up at him pleading for permission to be loud. In the darkness of my room his eyes glistened with a wild, feral instinct. Kissing my neck, dragging his tongue over my skin, nipping at me my body jumped and jolted from the sensation. I could hear my heart beating in my ears and feel the blood in my veins rushing. Reaching up I tangled my fingers in his hair, feeling the heat and sweat there, before pulling him back down for another kiss. Our lips parted as they met and our tongues tangled against one another fighting for control.

Swiftly he lifted me up and I growled in protest as he pulled out. I was left feeling hollow and disconnected to my lover. Turning me around I ended up on hands and knees. He plunged into me raising bumps across my body. I mewled feeling his girth fill me up. His rhythm sped up and his thrusts became deeper than before. I could feel him throbbing inside me as his body neared its climax point. He wrapped an arm around my front and lifted my hands off the bed so I was erect against him. In this position I felt myself tighten even more making the nerves at my core dance. He kissed my neck while kneading one of my breasts. His other hand drifted down passed my navel to that sensitive nub and gently rubbed. I groaned into his mouth making him sound hollow down to his gut. His kiss turned heated and abruptly I felt myself cum. With a groan Masaomi followed and I felt his heat fill me. Together we fell down into the bed, floating somewhere near the clouds, and fell asleep in one another's arms.


	15. Chapter 15

Deep Freeze

Christmas vacation came and went in the blink of an eye it seemed leaving the lot of us to return to the everyday grind. Sitting at the dining room table, chewing on my pen, I stared out the windows to my left. Outside the world was snowy and cold. White flakes were gently falling from a grey sky.

The condo was quiet. Everyone had left for work, appointments, or they were hibernating in their room. I curled my toes across the wood floor feeling my socks glide over the surface. I sighed. Ever since we'd come back, two months ago, I'd seen little to nothing of Masaomi _. I miss him_.

Of course he made sure, like clockwork, to check on me once a week monitoring the serums progress, as he started synthesizing it himself now, and to give me my dose. Those moments were my favorite, the moments after the injection, because they **always** turned into a romp through the sheets.

Closing my eyes I sat back and remembered our last encounter. How his lips were warm, soft…his hands roaming all over me…him inside me. My breath hitched as I opened my eyes and felt a hot blush roll across my face. Even in all the emptiness, after that wonderful week, I regretted nothing. Although I wished I'd known, had some idea, that a relationship with a doctor also included his patients.

"Lex?"

I looked from the window to the stairs. Ukyo was standing there watching me with curious blue eyes and a worried expression.

I smiled politely, "Hey Ukyo."

"What're you doing down here?" he asked walking over.

The close proximity made me shift.

"I couldn't focus." I replied around my pen, "So I came down here hoping it would help."

Ukyo loomed over my book skimming through the text. He'd been nicer, since finding out about Masaomi and me, but it was only because we made it look like, to him, that we'd called it off. Only Hikaru knew the truth but, then again, Hikaru knew everything. In any case we still snuck around just behind Ukyo's back like the good little rebels we were. At first it was thrilling, fun, but as of late it had turned stuffy. Here I had this wonderful man, to myself sometimes, and I could be open about it. _One more year_. When I turned eighteen we could be honest with everyone and Ukyo's threats would hold no power.

"Traditional Japanese, huh?"

I blinked to life, "Uh-huh. I've got a test and it's my worst subject."

"That's understandable." Ukyo replied straightening up, "But if you give it your all I'm sure you'll do fine."

I smiled weakly.

"I could help you study. If you'd like."

"That's kind but I have to do it on my own."

He snorted a laugh. Groaning I rubbed my eyes and rested my head on my book. This test was worth 30% of my quarter grade! And all I could do was think about doing some anatomy homework with Masaomi!

"How long have you been sitting down here?"

I yawned, "Since two."

"Maybe you should go get some sleep. You do have a three day weekend coming up." He encouraged.

"Yea. I guess."

Sitting here was doing me no good and sleep sounded nice. Standing up I left my book propped open, my papers strewn across the table, and headed up stairs to my room.

"Good night, Lex." Ukyo called warmly.

"Night."

That night I dreamed of Masaomi.

I dreamed of him so vividly that my body ached for him like a flower in the Sahara. When I woke up tears had dried in my eyes and I felt tired still. Pushing back the covers I sat up and buried my face in my hands. I missed Masaomi! I wanted him here, now, even if for just a moment. _This isn't right_! I felt frustrated and lonely to the point of tears! In the middle of the turmoil of my mind I realized that voicing my loneliness wouldn't be fair to him. Surely he felt the same way. Looking up to the ceiling I sighed and wiped at my eyes.

Knock, knock.

"Lex?"

I rubbed my eyes, "Come in."

As my door opened, I pulled on a sweater, and heard someone coming down the hall. The steps slowed pulling my attention.

"Morning Iori."

Iori, standing at the threshold, in a down jacket watched me curiously. I yawned. He smiled.

"Get dressed. We're going out."

"Huh?"

Outside it was cold even with the sun almost at its noon point. I shivered under my coat, my breath fogging the air, as we moved along the busy street. While the city had gone out of Christmas mode it still seemed like a wonderland. There was snow and ice everywhere, skyscraper lights twinkled in the distance seeming like stars against the grey sky and a strange energy was traveling with the crowds.

Too bad I wasn't feelin' it!

I yawned as we took the steps up a pedestrian bridge.

"Are you not getting enough sleep?" Iori asked as he kept pace next to me, "You've been yawning a lot lately."

"Yea. I'm good. The cold just makes me slow." I reassured him with a smile.

Stepping up onto the bridge we felt the cars zooming beneath us. Iori suddenly draped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. _What-_ It wasn't like Iori to be so forward but it seemed innocent enough plus I was exhausted for some weird reason. So I just kind of leaned against him. Crossing the bridge we went down the steps on the other side and came face to face with a giant concrete building. The darkly tinted windows flashed with lights and lasers.

"Where are we?"

The structure was part of a massive open air shopping mall but I'd never been inside it before. Iori guided me up to the glass doors and they opened as we stepped into the building. Inside it was loud, not something I wanted, and very warm. Hesitantly at the ruckus I faltered back as step and Iori looked down at me worriedly. Shrugging off his arm I pulled off my fluffy jacket.

"It's warm in here." I smirked.

Iori followed suite. Together we strolled along a narrow entryway towards a glass banister and looked down into the complex below. It was a massive arcade! Loft style with many floors and thousands of games it echoed with the excitement of children and the bellows of teens. It smelled of air freshener and a tinge of sweat.

"An arcade?" I asked looking at Iori with a raised brow, "I never took you as one for games."

He shrugged a little, "Even I like to be a little loud every now and again."

For a long moment we stared out into the land of VR just taking it in.

"Besides you've been looking down ever since we got back from Christmas vacation."

Weakly I smiled at the insinuation. Heading down the stairs we picked up a game of competition Whack-A-Mole and moved on to the more advance stuff like zombie VR, to which I screamed like a girl when I died, and Iori nearly fell out of his containment pod. Together we wandered the nearly eight floors of games to which Iori informed me that Natsume's company was responsible for nearly ninety-five percent of them. An impressive feat in my book but then again I was easily impressed. In the middle of a VS game of DDR Iori struck up a conversation.

"Why have you been so down lately!"

I jumped hitting my step to the left while the music blared over all the other noise, "I haven't been! I don't know why you think that!"

"Come on Lex! We've all known you for a long time!" Iori panted as he tried to nail a combo, "You might not cry but when you get quiet we know you're sad!"

My feet slammed against the back directional pad as I scored a ton of points beating Iori finally. The screens lit up in unison with bright fake fireworks declaring I'd won the dance off. Both of us panting we stepped down, wandered in the café, and took a seat. The flimsy metal chairs felt way too light under me and the tiny holes made me feel like I was melting through.

I smiled, "I'm not sad. Just stressed about my test results I guess."

Iori's brow was covered in sweat, a rare sight to see, even if he was athletic. He gave me a searching look with these silvery eyes so I looked aside to the snack bar. Everything was written in the native tongue but they had pictures and numbers.

"Are you hungry?" I asked looking back to him, "My treat."

"I am but I'll treat you. I invited you out here after all."

We got up from the table, our legs feeling like jelly, and headed over to the snack bar. Iori ordered some pizza and I got a pretzel. Checking his watch Iori commented that it was late and how we should be heading back to the condo soon. I was more than happy to go! I loved spending time with Iori but I wanted nothing more than my bed right now. As we headed out of the arcade I took a bite of my pretzel, felt my stomach turn, and tossed it when Iori turned his back.

I had no appetite.

Outside the sun was setting. _How long were we in there?_! The air was turning bitterly cold and my jacket was doing nothing against the frost. We walked the long path over the highway, through the park, and into the burbs where the condo was located. The whole way we said nothing but I could feel Iori's eyes on me and this strange….tension rolling off of him. As we reached the condo steps I felt this weight just fall off my shoulders. _My room isn't far from here_.

"Lex." Iori grabbed my elbow gently before I could go up the steps to the condo stoop and turned me to face him.

I smiled, "Oh! I'm so sorry! My mind must've checked out." I gave him a hug, "Thank you so much for taking me out! I really enjoyed it." I pulled away, "We should do it again."

Soft white flakes began to fall from the sky. As I pulled away, ready to run up to my room and sleep, Iori grabbed hold of my shoulders and kissed me. _What the Hell_!? Instantly I went stiff as a board, shock rooting me to the ground, at the feel of his warm lips against mine. _Move_!

"Hmmm!" I snarled pulling away from him angrily, "Iori!"

At my shout he flinched but his eyes never left mine.

"I don't want you to be heartbroken anymore." He told me earnestly, "It breaks my heart to see you sad."

In my anger I wanted to scream at him but…..Sighing heavily I looked up to the sky and closed my eyes.

"I love you Lex."

 _Damn._ I didn't think a day out was going to end like this. Looking back down from the sky to Iori I managed to scrounge up some calm. He doesn't know. It's not his fault.

"Iori…."tears stung my eyes to have to say something, "I-I can't return your feelings. I'm sorry."

Quickly I turned not wanting to drag it out any longer than necessary. My hand reached for the glass door-

"Why?"

I froze staring into the glass and seeing his reflection in the shiny glass.

"Why not?" he asked sternly.

"Because-"I sighed, "I'm already seeing someone." I opened the door.

" **Then if he's the one making you feel this way he's no good for you**!" Iori stated angrily.

 _ **Maybe**_ _you're right_.


	16. Chapter 16

The Tick amongst the Ice

Sitting on his bed I inhaled as Masaomi slipped the needle into my inner thigh. It still stung like a bitch! But the amber liquid gave the pain a little relief. As he withdrew the needle Masaomi pressed his warm thumb over the injection point and held it there. Contently I sighed as the drug filled my veins but it wasn't quite giving me the kick it normally did.

"How have you been feeling lately?" he asked calmly.

"Fine." I lied.

"You've lost weight."

I snorted and looked from the ceiling to him, "School is stressful."

He smiled lopsidedly as he tossed the syringe into a trashcan. Turning his back to me I heard him rummaging around in his doctors bag making glass and metal clank.

"How's work been?"

"Interesting but….Not as interesting as home it would seem."

I raised a brow, "Oh?"

Masaomi turned back to face me and his face was twisted up in some ugly expression I never thought capable of him.

"Tired of waiting for me?"

"Huh?" I asked jaw dropping.

He folded his arms across his chest, "I saw you and Iori that night on the stairs outside the condo."

Without warning I broke out in a cold sweat.

"Oh yea? You saw that?" I asked slowly.

He nodded, "Getting cold feet?"

Gracefully I stood, "Nah. Iori told me how he felt and I refused him."

The frigid facade on Masaomi's face suddenly dropped into surprise. I glared at him.

"What? You think I'm some cheating skank or something?"

"Well n-no no! Not at all! I-I just-"

I looked away trying to keep my disgust from him, "Don't worry Masaomi when I commit to something I stay committed. Just like you. Thanks for the drugs. See you next week."

I made my way across the room towards the door but he swiftly grabbed my elbow and pulled me into his arms. Masaomi was so much bigger than me so he bowed over molding to my tiny frame as he held me from behind.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Lex." He murmured against my ear, "I-I just worry. I don't want to lose the best person in my life."

I sighed out, "Well you've kept me alive this long. I don't think I'll go anywhere."

Softly he kissed the back of my neck but the tension didn't leave the air.

Carefully I peered into the hallway and found no one. The condo was silent. It seemed no one was home. Double checking that my clothes were on right I stepped out, leaving the sleeping Masaomi to himself, and headed down the hall. _That was an awkward session_. Masaomi's kisses had been feverish, his teeth nipping and his hands clawing almost like he was going to lose me. I sighed again, as the wooden floor glided beneath my bare feet, and tumbled through my mind every kiss and touch and penetration. It wasn't the same Masaomi I'd known for so long like this. This Masaomi was claiming territory it seemed. It's not like I belonged to anyone but the fact that he was scared of Iori moving in on his 'territory' was more than a little irritating.

"Hello Lex."

I looked up from my feet as I crossed from the hallway to the landing across from the elevator. Ukyo was sitting on the green couch looking rather smug.

"Hey Ukyo." I yawned casually.

"Busy night?" he asked flipping through his magazine, "I'd imagine getting drugs would be tiring."

I stopped shy of the hallway that led to my room, "Pardon?"

As I turned around Ukyo looked up and met my gaze.

"I saw Masaomi giving you something in a syringe. What was it?"

"A cold shot." I lied quickly.

He arched a brow, "In the thigh?"

I nodded.

"You know cell phones-"he pulled his out of his pocket, "are a funny thing now. Did you know you can take a picture of anything and identify it instantly?"

A cold sweat ran down my spine. My eyes darted to the hallway I'd just come from.

"On here it says that what Masaomi's been giving you is an experimental drug. It's not even on the market and I would contend highly illegal. That wouldn't bode well for his career."

I clenched my fists at my side and waited patiently.

"Your phone must be mistaken."

Ukyo stood up and approached me looking more devil than human.

"Tell me what he's treating you for or I'll report him." He growled as he loomed over me.

"He's your brother. You wouldn't dare."

His blue eyes flickered viciously, "Try. Me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Ukyo wasn't playing a game.

"I'm…being treated for a rapid cancer." I admitted.

"No wonder you looked so sick when you came to us."

Stubbornly I stared up at him ready to fight if need be though I doubted I had the energy.

"Very well." He said airily, "I won't tell anyone **IF** you stay away from Masaomi. So what happened a few hours ago won't be happening again." He tossed casually over his shoulder as he walked down the steps to the living room, "By the way you might want to take a shower. You smell like antiseptic…..among other things."


	17. Chapter 17

In The Trenches

Four Months Later

Standing at the sink I washed dishes, mulling things over in my mind, lost in the sound of the running water. It would make sense to tell Masaomi about Ukyo's blackmail but doing so would spark a fight and undoubtedly let out all my ugly to the other brothers. It was a no win situation. The only path I could take now was the dark one and it included hurting Masaomi if only for a bit. I ignored him wherever possible, gave him the cold shoulder and brushed off his advances. The pain in his brown eyes haunted me nightly, I often cried myself to sleep, and hoped the damage could be repaired someday. Once a week he still gave me my injections to which I caught Ukyo watching us through a crack in the door twice; I doubt checked the door often.

The closeness in those moments made me ache for Masaomi. For his kind words and loving gaze. Every time he was done he would tell me that he loves me and will wait for me no matter what. He'd offer his help, any help that he could give, to make me feel better. Afraid to say anything I could only get up and leave as tears threatened to fall. Everyone else seemed to keep their distance but I wasn't sure if that was from the rage rolling off of me or the fact that, despite the serum, I was beginning to look like a skeleton again. I'd bought makeup even to put color in any exposed skin, which was easy since it was winter and my clothes covered so much, and take away the sunken hollows of my eyes. Masaomi had upped the dosage a bit believing it would help but I wasn't seeing any improvement. _How does life get so fucked up_?

I let out a heavy breath, feeling an ache in my ribs, and stared at the bubbles riding the dishwater in the sink. _If I just came out and told everyone what was going on Ukyo wouldn't have any more leverage_. It seemed like a good plan but Masaomi had done so much stuff that was illegal even if I came out about our relationship and my illness to everyone it wouldn't shield him from legal repercussions. There was no right answer now. I was stuck in the trenches. Washing out the bowl in my hand I set it in the drainer, turned off the faucet, and pulled the plug. The water and soap bubbles whirled round and round down the drain hypnotizing me. I pulled the yellow wash gloves off my bony hands with a snap.

"Hmmm." I turned to the kitchen archway, "I like a woman who knows how to do dishes."

Angrily I slapped the gloves down on the stainless steel sink, "That's nice."

Marching towards the archway I scooted by him but Ukyo grabbed my wrists and embraced me from behind.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I snapped trying to break free.

He kissed my ear making me want to vomit, "Oh come now." He whispered in my ear, "I'd be a much better match for you."

"In Hell!" I barked twisting away.

SMACK! My palm made full contact with his cheek sending his head to turn aside. The motion cost me too much energy and I staggered back. Ukyo looked back at me and smiled. Turning my back on him I hurried towards the stairs where I bumped into Iori-who'd seen the whole thing.

"It's not him." I stated bluntly then left back to my room.

Standing under the water of the hot shower I cried and shook because of it. Was this Ukyo's angle the entire time? To separate me from Masaomi so he could try to get game? _What a jackass_! The hot water running over my naked body drowned out my tears and felt like lead against my bones. Even with the serum everything hurt. Breathing hurt, my heart beating hurt, moving, living….There was many times I thought about overdosing on sleeping pills just to stop the pain.

But I just couldn't do it because no matter how dark the night seems there is always hope for the dawn.

 _I will not die from this. I will be healed. I will be with Masaomi and we will be happy_. Every day I had to chant that just to have the drive to get out of bed. _It will happen this way. I will have my happily ever after_. Twisting off the taps I twisted my hair dry, hearing it crack brittle, and stepped out. In the fogged mirror of the bathroom I could see myself, the skeleton I had become, and quickly wrapped myself up in a giant fluffy towel. I had school tomorrow and needed to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

The Waste

School was a drag, nothing new there, but to liven things up a bit the heating system had died. So the place was absolutely freezing. All the students had bundled up in their coats, P.E. had been cancelled (what a saving grace), and huddled together like penguins in the artic to keep warm. A cold snap had hit the region just a few days ago and today was the coldest day ever.

"I th-think H-Hell finally froze o-over." I chattered hugging myself.

I was flanked by Yusuke and Iori as we slowly walked down the hall. They seemed to be doing alright with the layers they had on but I had lost all feeling in my body an hour out of the condo. Wearing two leggings under my skirt, high fluffy boots, three long sleeve shirts, two sweaters, one hoody and a down jacket I found myself still freezing! _Well….I've always heard freezing to death was pleasant_. The thought was grim. Iori wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close, and making Yusuke gawk. Heat roared from Iori making me wonder if, when he came out of his jacket, if he would be six sizes shrunk.

"Iori!" Yusuke snapped.

Iori ignored him as we neared our next class forcing Yusuke to continue down the hall. He gave us both a sulking look before we disappeared into the classroom. Everyone was huddled together in clusters and away from the frost clogged windows so of course we went to our seats, next to the windows, to wait for the teacher. My ragged breath fogged the air as I plopped down in my seat and yawned. I'd gotten plenty of sleep last night but whatever was eating at me had drained me it seemed.

"Lex?"

I looked over at Iori, who was watching me with those inquisitive eyes, and smiled weakly. He wasn't amused or put to ease.

"About Ukyo…."

My gut twisted and I wanted to vomit except there was nothing to vomit up. When was the last time I had eaten? I couldn't recall.

"I saw what happened-in the kitchen-and obviously you didn't like it."

Numbly I stared just over his shoulder to the distant door hoping the teacher would come in. Like. Now. _Now_.

"What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing. He just came onto me. That's all."

Iori shook his head, "No. there's more to it than that."

I looked back to him, to those grey eyes, "What makes you think that?"

"I can see it….buried in your eyes."

Exhausted I flopped back on my bed and separated my knees as much as I could. Masaomi took out his trusty syringe and bottle, filling the chamber with amber liquid, and carefully knelt down between my legs to inject the stuff into my vein. The sting of the needle felt like the teeth of a chainsaw and tears instantly sprang to my eyes. I gulped down a yelp, biting my knuckle, and waited for the pain to subside. It only took seconds, I knew this, but it felt like an eternity.

"Done." Masaomi sighed heavily.

For a long moment I didn't, couldn't, move so I just stared at the ceiling of his room.

"Lex?" he asked wearily.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see him hovering at the corner of the bed and beyond him the bedroom door-which was closed and locked tight.

I raised my hand to stop him, "I'm fine."

As sick as I was if he were to touch me, show kindness in that way that I loved, I would lose it for sure. The idea of being made love to by Masaomi in such a disgusting state twisted my whole being up into something gross. He sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair obviously frustrated.

"Let me look at you." He demanded softly.

Normally I'd lift my head but I was too weak, "Pardon?"

"Let me take a look at you. You've been hiding yourself in baggy clothes-"

"Masaomi-"

"I'm not asking as a doctor." He interrupted angrily, "I'm asking as your lover."

I scoffed. We hadn't touched each other in months. How did he still think we were even that? Although his words made me blush slightly.

"What? You think I'm cheating on you then?"

Masaomi suddenly hovered over me coming into view, "No. I know you could never do something like that. But the serum isn't working how it should so please let me see your body. Let me examine you properly."

There wasn't any hint of perversion in his voice but his words seemed out of place. Sighing heavily I forced myself to sit up and he backed away giving me plenty of room. Taking a deep breath I stood up and started to strip. Politely he turned his back to me, which almost made me laugh, and waited quietly. Taking off and putting on my clothes had become somewhat of a chore these days and nearly drained everything out of me. But when I was finally naked-

"Masaomi."

He turned and I saw Death wash over his face. I wrapped my bony arms around myself trying to hide what I was sure looked like the body of a starvation camp victim. His breath turned shallow and I had to look away from that horrified face which was my second bad decision within the moment. On the back of his bathroom door hung a full body mirror and in it I saw myself. Grey skin, brittle hair, dull eyes, bones sticking out and skin stretched tight like animal hide over a hunched form.

"L-Lex…."

My vision snapped from the mirror to Masaomi whose brown eyes were full of tears. He fell to his knees, a look of defeat and desperation on his face, as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"W-Why didn't you say anything?" he asked softly.

Tears pricked at my eyes and even that felt painful, "The s-serum it was only a hope. You knew that. I was destined to die this way."

He looked up at me and then back to my body as he began to shake but what it was from I couldn't tell. A shaky hand reached out towards my stomach slowly and then froze, like he was afraid he would break me, and it felt like a stab to the heart. I didn't blame him for it but it still hurt. Without thinking I quickly pulled on my clothes nearly making me pass out with the effort.

"Masaomi-"I muttered placing my hand on his shoulder, "do yourself a favor and just find someone else. It'll be better for you in the long run."

With that I left his room to go hide in mine and cry myself to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

The Discovery

Dinner had been livelier than ever it seemed with winter nearly at its end. I'd excused myself early, receiving odd looks from Hikaru, with the excuse of homework. No one had seemed to notice my weight loss since I was wearing my normal clothes and butt tons of makeup to make me look more human than corpsy. Every night though I would lay down and wonder if it was my last night. If my heart might just give out and someone would come in to wake me up for school only to find me dead as a door nail instead. The possibilities were chilling to say the least.

Masaomi hadn't been at the condo much in the past few weeks. It seemed he was at the lab working with an associate to procure a better serum and while the newer versions took away the pain of it all they did little to curb the cancers violent nature. In some ways I was surprised I had lasted as long as I had but maybe there was something in me fighting for life when I didn't seem to have a reason.

Death would certainly be easier.

I headed down the hall towards my room wanting nothing more than a hot bath to warm up my cold body but instead I was greeted by a towering shadow with blue eyes. It blocked my way.

"What Ukyo? I'm not in the mood!" I snapped.

His advances had become more…persistent as of late. Flowers at my door, chocolates in my backpack (to which Yusuke was all too happy to devour on my behalf since he had no girly figure to watch), attempted kisses, hugs, whispers in the ear….You know creepy ass shit that would only be romantic if Masaomi were doing it. Hikaru had played interference as best he could when he was around but even he didn't know the whole story about Ukyo, Masaomi and I. The web I'd unknowingly spun and gotten us three trapped in. _What a poor spider I would make_.

"Don't be so glum Lex-"

"I'm dying. What am I supposed to be?!"

I shoved past him, exuding quite a bit of strength I was surprised I had, towards my room door. His hand shot out and grasped onto my arm. The touch made me jump but not because it was pleasant. I hadn't felt the touch of another human being in what felt like ages. It was no one's fault but my own. I tore my shoulder away wanting to char the skin beneath the sweater.

"Don't be so stubborn." Ukyo chiding with a sigh, "Just say you'll be with me and I won't tell anyone, not even the police, about what you and Masaomi are doing."

I glared at him, "I'd rather die a thousand deaths than betray Masaomi like that."

Ukyo shook his head but seemed undeterred by my zeal, as lackluster as it was, "I can love you so much better than he can. He's immature and selfish-"

"Ukyo-"I looked him straight in the eye, "suck my dick."

His face, usually serene, twisted swiftly into something ugly. Closing the distance he slammed me back against my bedroom door making the hardware rattle. Pain sparked up along my back making me cringe and cry out silently.

"Listen here you little bitch-"he sneered into my ear, "the only reason Masaomi hasn't ended up in prison yet is because of me. So play nice or he won't be free much longer."

I glared at him, worked through the pain, "Why are you even doing this?"

He blinked warily at me.

"It's because of her."


	20. Chapter 20

Both of us looked aside to see Masaomi standing in the threshold of the hallway. _Holy shit!_ When had he shown up?! How much had he heard? His face was twisted into an angry glare as Ukyo released me to stand fully erect. I looked between the two.

"Lex." Masaomi spoked sternly without looking away from Ukyo, "This is why you've been acting strange, isn't it?"

"I…"

"Why didn't you tell me he was doing this to you?"

Ukyo chortled a laugh making my skin want to crawl off my body.

"So nice of you to get a clue brother." Ukyo spat, "Just too little too late like always."

"Get away from my girlfriend." Masaomi growled.

In that moment I saw something viscous flicker in his eyes leaving me a little frightened and breathless. Ukyo smirked.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting Lex? Is it because of her?" Masaomi probed.

 _Her_? Now I was confused.

"Nina never belonged to you!" Ukyo barked angrily filling the hall with thunder.

"You're right!" Masaomi countered, "Nina never belonged to you or anyone for that matter. That's why she left you! You were too possessive!"

"Liar!"

The noise was sure to attract attention _. Please nobody come up here_. Everyone was down in the dining room still.

"You stole her away from me-"

"You drove her away!"

Ukyo shook himself like some feral beast preparing to fight, "I will take away what you've stolen from me!"

Determination settled over Masaomi's face, "No you won't."

Swiftly he turned on his heel and headed back towards the flat that overlooked the dining room. _**Nonononononononoonononononono**_! Quickly I shoved passed Ukyo to grab hold of Masaomi. Latching onto his arm I begged him to reconsider as I realized what he was about to do.

"Masaomi don't! Please think of what you're going to lose!"

He reached the landing banister, dragging my socked feet across the wooden floor, and got everyone's attention right away.

"Everyone listen up!"

" _Oh my god_." I cried.

"Lex is dying from cancer." I lost my grip and fell back hitting the floor on my butt hard, "I've been giving her illegal injections of drug cocktails to make the cancer dormant. We've also been sleeping together because we love each other and Ukyo has been blackmailing Lex all this time with this information." the air was forced form my lungs, "He's threatened to take me to the police, have me arrested and put in prison for what I've done and Lex has done her best to be my shield."

Masaomi turned a glare at Ukyo, "No more."

The silence that followed was epic, both in its length and awkwardness, and all I could do was sit like a child on the floor staring up at Masaomi in stark horror that he just revealed everything. Everything! Anger boiled up in my blood propelling my body.

" **What did you do**?!" I yelled in a high pitch rage.

Masaomi turned back to look at me, Ukyo lurched away, and everyone down in the living room seemed to find their voices again. Tears blurred my vision as I backed away. How could he just say everything like that?! Out in the open?!

"Lex I-"

Turning I charged towards the elevator and took the door to the left.

"LEX!"

As the door closed behind me I turned the key locking it from the inside. It was anger that had given me life again and I was going to use it.

"Lex open this door!"

Masaomi's pounding and yelling echoed into the stairwell at my back.

"How could you just come out and say all that?!" I barked.

"Lex please-"

"NO! That was mine to tell or keep! YOU TOOK THAT ONE THING FROM ME!"

Turning I hurried down the cement stairs, the sounds of panicked yells faded away, and hit the bottom story. Bursting out of the door, nearly smacking Subaru, I ran out into the cold night. _It was the only thing I had control of! How could you take that little from me?!_


	21. Chapter 21

The Brothers:

Masaomi

Sitting at the dining room table the condo was eerily still. Mournfully he stared at the steaming cup of coffee just sitting there between his palms, feeling the heat of the liquid inside, and was suddenly lost in the emptiness of his mind. _This place is so…..still without her_. It had been a week since Lex had run away.

"Masa?"

Abruptly he blinked to life, turning his gaze towards the stairs, to find Azusa standing there. As much as he tried he couldn't fake a smile so he just stared. Azusa crossed the quiet distance and stood opposite of him.

"Any news?"

He shook his head, "No." he sighed, "How're mom and Rintaro doing?"

Azusa shrugged hesitantly, "As well as any parent when their child goes missing."

Masaomi lifted his hands and buried his face in them. _This is all my fault_. The hatred that had grown bitterly in himself was near all-consuming but he couldn't let that happen because if Lex did come back, and by some miracle still wanted to be with him, he couldn't be ugly for her. To her. Lex didn't deserve to see such a side.

Azusa suddenly placed his hand on Masaomi's shoulder pulling his attention, "It's not your fault Masa."

Looking up from his hands Masaomi searched Azusa's eyes and found truth in his words.

"It's all of our faults. We all should've been more open to Lex made her feel like she could trust us. We all failed her."

Masaomi stood up and walked away, "Then I far more than anyone else."

Azusa

He watched Masaomi walk away, carry himself up the stairs heavily, until he disappeared beyond the landing. Azusa looked at the cup of coffee, noting that it had been untouched, and then stared out to the balcony. Outside it was blizzardy. It had been for the past week and a half. Softly he crossed the living room to the balcony doors and stared outside. He could barely see to the banister the snow was so thick. _Lex I hope your somewhere warm_.

Even though the police had put out a BOLO and were active in their search for her Azusa knew that by the weeks end, two more days to go, if they found no one they would stop looking. Too expensive to continue using manpower and resources to find someone who doesn't want to be found… _Or someone who's no longer around_. That nasty little voice forced tears to his eyes. Removing his glasses Azusa wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. _She's alive. She's too stubborn to give up_.

As if trying to spare him agony his brain suddenly brought back a warm memory…A memory of everyone in an orchard going apple picking. It had been the first time they'd all met and instead of seeming overwhelmed Lex had welcomed the chaos. She was bouncy, full of energy, and zeal, like any little kid would be, but it was maturely balanced. For the first hour she'd bounced around between the brothers, talking with them, helping to pick until their baskets were full. But when she'd stopped to chat with him they'd hit it off rather well. She made him laugh, good deep belly laughs, and even climbed up into the top of a tree to retrieve an out of reach apple. Of course she fell from the tree but was nothing but giggles about it all.

He put his hand on the glass feeling the biting cold against his hand, "Please come back Lex. We need you here."

Hikaru

"While this once in a life time storm has gripped the core of Japan it has left the ports frozen over slowing shipments of food and….."

Sighing heavily he pulled the headphones off and stared at the screen in the headrest in front of him. The cabin was silent, it was easily passed the midnight hour, and in the air there was soft snoring. Every now and again a flight attendant would pace the isles to see how everyone was doing but other than that it was still.

"Lex….." he sighed looking out the window.

The world below was so dark for now, an endless sea, and it went on for miles. It made Hikaru wonder if Lex had felt trapped in such darkness, held in place by Ukyo who was trying to drown her and unable to be saved by Masaomi who was too clueless to see her drowning…. _No, that's not right. We all let her drown_.

"Troubles of love, eh?"

Hikaru looked from the window to the seat next to him. A tiny little lady had ridden next to him, from Los Angeles, and had remained silent until now however her knitting needles hadn't ceased.

"Pardon?" he asked politely with a smile.

Her needles stopped and she looked up. Her face was wrinkled with years of life and her eyes were black as onyx. She smiled showing crow's feet.

"I have been around a long time, youngin', and I know the look of love. This girl, Lex, is she a good girl?"

He couldn't help but chuckle, "Oh, yes, very much so and she's rather brave or stubborn."

Those knitting needles picked up again with their soft rhythmic clicking.

"Hmmm. A perfect match for you I think. So, what happened? Have a fight? Lovers quarrel?"

Hikaru shook his head, "No-"and looked out the window again, "she's not mine. Lex is actually going out with one of my brothers."

"Oh? But you love her as your own, don't you?"

 _Did I_? Ever since she'd gone missing he'd lost countless hours of sleep, missed three deadlines, and been nothing but restless _. Maybe I have fallen in love with her_. It was a flighty thought, one he couldn't quite grasp, because it was a love somewhere between passion and peace.

"I'll take that as a yes. So, what has gone wrong? Why mix such a dark look with that of love?"

A cloud suddenly blocked the view from the window, "She's gone missing. Ran away."

"Oh-"

Buzz. Quickly Hikaru dug in his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. The screen was a light with a text message. He pulled up the message and sighed inwardly. It wasn't what he was hoping for.

Subaru

Practice was over and the locker rooms were full of his teammates. Lockers slammed, voices laughed and showers boomed as they rattled to life with steaming water. Sitting on a wood bench in a far row Subaru stared down at his phone reading the text Hikaru had sent him. Before leaving to the States Hikaru had asked him to send updates but there was nothing to really update about.

"Subaru!"

He tucked away his phone as Koji came around the corner, "Hey we were going to go celebrate! Come with us Suba."

"Thanks but no thanks."

 _Stupid snow_. The white stuff crunched beneath his shoes and the cold wind ripped at his wind breaker. To his right the street was still busy with cars, people on their way home from work, and there were patches of ice here and there. People that were out this late were bundled up with heavy coats and traveled in packs to keep warm.

With all this snow it only brought him back to that night. He'd stepped out for some fresh air, just a moment to think, and then he'd heard shouting from the condo. As soon as he reached the lobby door Lex had come bursting through it, tears streaming down her face, nearly running him over in the process. He'd watched her curiously, called to her, and then that's when Yusuke called to him from the balcony. _**"Stop her**_!"

He turned and followed right away but somehow she was faster than him. He chased her down the block, around the corner….. _How could she move so fast on snow in bare feet_? The question haunted him. Why didn't he stop her? How couldn't he have? How did she get away? Subaru suddenly stopped amid a huge structure with bright lights and stared up to the sky. _If only I'd been faster….Lex would be home_.

"Subaru?"

He turned and saw Natsume walking towards him. Behind his brother the large grey structure came out of the haze and Subaru realized he'd mindlessly walked to Natsume's work.

"Natsu."

Natsume frowned, "What're you doing wandering around like this? You're going to get sick?"

Subaru gave him a knowing look. Sighing, sending puffs of haze into the air, Natsume pulled his coat tightly around him.

"Go home. I'll look for her now."

"Nats-"

Natsume stepped up, equal to Subaru, "Suba if you get sick, if you throw everything away, do you think that would make Lex happy?"

Subaru glared at his brother.

"Go home. I will look for her as long as I can."

Stubbornly Subaru turned aside, in the direction of home, "I want to be the first to know if you find anything."

Natsume nodded and watched his brother go.

Natsume

 _Damn this frigid cold_. Natsume couldn't help but curse in his mind as he lit a cigarette with a cold nipped hand. Downtown Sakura Mall had always been one of Lex's favorite places to hang out. She loved the corner bookstore that was four stories tall and smelled of paper, ink and coffee beans. He went through every isle, on every floor, searched every nook and cranny but he couldn't find her.

Stepping back outside he lit another cigarette, stepped away from the main street in an alley threshold, and blew out a puff of smoke. He felt exhausted, drained from work and worry, and rubbed his face with aching hands. _Damn Lex_. What had unfolded from Masaomi's mouth had defiantly come as a shock for two reasons. One, the most striking, that Ukyo would treat Lex and Masaomi in such an ugly way and Two that Lex was dying.

In a way he understood her motive clearly for secrecy. Lex was obstinate and believed she could handle everything on her own. It wasn't a bad trait, he had it himself, but…..Pulling the cigarette from his mouth he puffed out another cloud and looked aside…..The cigarette fell from his hand…

"Lex!"

At the other end of the alley he saw the pale ghost of the girl bathed by a street light. She turned when he called, watching his with hollow eyes, before turning and running.

"LEX!"

Natsume dashed down the alley, his steps echoing up along the towering buildings, as Lex took the corner in a flash of golden hair. Reaching the end he took the corner to the left too sharp, hit ice and skidded into a post box that stopped him from going out into traffic, ahead he saw Lex, he knew it was her!, saw her limping as she ran full force down the icy street. Her pants were torn, frayed, covered in mud and her shirt was sagging off her bony shoulders.

"LEX COME HERE! STOP!" he yelled.

Before he could find his footing she disappeared into the crowd beyond another cross street.


	22. Chapter 22

Brothers

Kaname

The temple grounds were quiet this day. In the distance the sun was setting casting the blue sky a crimson-orange just over the tree tops. It was beautiful. Quietly he walked along the cobblestone path, a path laid by ancient monks, deep in his thoughts. _What misery we can cause one another_. It wasn't a new revelation to him but this time around it'd hit closer to home. Another temple monk passed him by, they bowed their heads, and continued on their separate ways.

Towards the center of the grounds stood an ancient temple. It had been here so long that everyone had forgotten to which god it had been built or even when but the rumor was that its blessings were powerful. It was tinier than all the others, something more acquainted to a roadside sanctuary, with many peaked roof and tiny windows. The paint it had been covered with was once red but now was chipping revealing dark wood beneath. Trees and vines had grown up around it, not quite touching, but close enough to frame the tiny thing. Kaname fell to his knees, closed his eyes, and clapped his hands together. The sound echoed out into the lush forest around him.

 _Please bring Lex home. Please bring her back to us. S-She's not safe out there…..where we can't protect her. Let her be okay_. Ever since Natsume's text message, three days ago, everyone had been scouring the city for her, including the police, but to no avail. Every day that went by left a hollowed feeling in their guts. Was she okay? Was she dead? Would someone find her and they'd see a body bag on the six o clock news? It was a horrible feeling to have every waking moment. Kaname opened his eyes, sat back on his haunches, and sighed heavily.

 _As brothers we have no right to complain. She'd known about the cancer long before any of us. This is what it must've felt like to carry the weight all alone_. That revelation was sobering and souring at the same time. Suddenly Kaname realized he wasn't alone and quickly stood. Turning back towards the main path he was not happy to see who was standing there.

"Come to beg forgiveness?" he hissed.

Ukyo

Ukyo stood still, moored to the spot, and stared at his brother. Kaname's eyes were sunken showing lack of sleep and his complexion had paled. Kaname sneered at his brother.

"Any news?" he asked numbly.

Kaname shifted his robes, wrapping himself up against the cold, and pushed by without a word. Ukyo quickly followed pulled out of his shock by the coldness with which his brother regarded him. Snow crunched beneath their shoes in odd timing making their steps sound like a crowd moving through the temple grounds.

"Kaname." Ukyo caught up to him, "Tell me, please, have they found Lex?"

"Why would I tell you anything?"

He knew he didn't deserve to know after what he'd done, after all his brothers had ostracized him from the condo, but he did still care about Lex. Really, he did, like a sister but no one seemed to believe him. _Can you blame them_? A nasty little voice called Reality slipped in his mind. _Look what you've done_.

"Please, Kaname, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care."

As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted it. Kaname stopped abruptly and glared at him with a distant stare.

"You're an asshole Ukyo." Kaname stated bluntly, "You don't care for Lex because if you did you wouldn't have hurt her! You wouldn't have sent her running away from home!"

Ukyo bristled, face turning red, "I didn't send her running away that was Masa like usu-"

 **CRACK**!

Ukyo felt a sharp pain race across his jaw, his balance was gone, and he crashed down into the snow sideways. From where he landed on the ground Ukyo looked up at Kaname, his fist still white knuckled and in the air, his face twisted into rage.

"You don't care about Lex!" Kaname growled, "You just feel guilty!"

 _What the hell_?! Kaname had never been the violent one-that was always Hikaru-but his punch had been real. The pain was real enough.

"I hope you rot with that guilt until it turns you as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside. That is your divine punishment."

Kaname stepped over his brother heading down the path-

"Brother wait!" Ukyo grabbed onto Kaname's ankle ignoring the blood dripping from his face and staining the snow, "Please…..Help me. I can't…. I don't know how to deal with this guilt any longer. Please Kaname."

Kaname snorted, tearing his ankle out of his brother's grip, "Now you know what you did to Lex."

Ukyo, laying the snow, watched as his brother left him. He was alone.

 _I'm sorry Lex_.

Iori

He watched the exchange from a distance surprised to see that Kaname had it in him to strike one of his brothers. Not that Ukyo didn't deserve it. Lifting the collar of his jacket Iori turned his back and headed back up the path he'd just come down. It seemed that Lex would not be here tonight. Wandering back up the path, out of the temple grounds, and onto the main street he was met by Futo.

"Anything?"

Iori shook his head not really having the energy to explain the show down between Ukyo and Kaname. Futo marched angrily next to Iori but remained silent. The cold had zapped him of all his remaining energy to rant much to Iori's pleasure. _How many times have we searched these streets_? This place was big, undoubtedly, and if someone wanted to disappear I guess they could but….. _Why would you want to disappear from us Lex_?

Next to him Futo searched the busy street, the buildings across the way, with shrewd eyes. Iori couldn't help but stare down at his feet as he navigated the icy sidewalk. It had only been the spring before that Lex had helped him with the flowers in the courtyard. A warm smile came over his face.

That morning she'd come running into his room, pounced on him, and woken him up at six am! There had been an excited gleam about her eye as she pulled him from the bed, shoved him into the bathroom and ordered him to get ready. Little did he know what was in store for him.

Lex had dragged him from the condo, down the street on a two hour walk to the harbor market, so that they could pick out bulbs and flowers for the beds. _**"I know you don't like to see the flower beds barren and I think tulip season is coming to an end!"**_ He hadn't even thought about changing the flowers yet although signs of rot had begun to weigh on his mind. They'd bought nearly a thousand yen worth of flowers and carried it all back to the condo becoming exhausted on the way.

But it never dragged her down. They'd spent the next two days side by side planting and prepping the beds bringing color and life back to the courtyard. _Her laugh was always so warm_. Who would've thought she was ever suffering. Iori stopped on the corner and stared up at the sky. It was bleary blocking out the stars.

"This is never going to work!" Futo growled angrily slamming the crossing button.

A few people stepped away giving them distance.

"Maybe we should split up." Iori suggested tired of his younger brothers moodiness.

With that Futo crossed the street and Iori went in the opposite direction.

Futo

 _ **Stupid woman. Stupid woman**_. It was freezing cold out as the last of the sun's rays died from the evening sky and he was no closer to finding her than when he started. People were still out, walking in groups, drinking coffee and chatting. To everyone else the world was as it had been but in his brothers it seemed to be falling apart. Reaching the corner he turned right and headed down the street ducking into an open air mall attempting to get out of the wind.

 _She's so selfish_! He ranted in his head. _Taking off and leaving us to worry! Stupid woman_. The shops were full of people just roaming around so he ducked in and out of shops, thankfully unnoticed by everyone, in search of Lex. But she wasn't here. As much as he tried to put out this feeling of frustration and anger it was getting tiresome, draining even, and it really did little to quench the problem.

Coming out of a botany shop he took a seat on a fountain, the water drained from it amidst this strange weather, and jammed his hands in his pockets. He was worried about her, for her, strange feelings he'd never really had. At least strange ones that went deeper than anything had before. Closing his eyes he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. _When I find her I'm going to make her pay_!


	23. Chapter 23

Brothers

Louis and Wataru

Louis ran the brush through Wataru's hair. In the chaos of the salon the simple movement wasn't lost on him. Wataru stared at the mirror across from him with teary eyes.

"I miss sis." He cried.

Sighing Louis set down the brush and bowed over the younger brother hugging him tightly. A few chairs away some older ladies cooed.

"I miss her too Wataru." Louis mumbled.

All of the brothers had taken Lex's disappearance pretty hard but Wataru, being the youngest, was the most vocal about it. A few days after her leaving him and Wataru had gone out and put up flyers. Wataru had been convinced that Lex would see them and come home. That had been three weeks ago but there had been no change. Standing back up Louis picked up some sheers.

"Don't worry Wataru. I am sure Lex is safe."

He shook his head in disagreement. Louis sighed lightly and made Wataru's head sit still.

"Why would she run away?" he chirped, "Did we do something wrong?"

 _Now that's a good question_. But the answer would be way too complicated for Wataru to really grasp. _In a way we did do something wrong_. Slowly he began to clip away at Wataru's shaggy hair.

"Wataru….Lex is hurting."

"Hurting?"

Louis nodded catching the movement in the mirror opposite of them.

"She doesn't want to hurt us, not really, with all this worrying. But she's hurting and it's a deep hurt that she doesn't know how to handle. The best option in her mind is to run away to keep us away from that hurt."

Wataru remained silent for a long time before saying, "I wish she would come home so that we could stop her hurting."

Warmly Louis smiled at his younger brother. _All of us wish that_.

Lex

Another day gone. Quickly I dodged into the alley, away from the regular populace, and ducked into a trash can nook. Flinging my back against the cinderblock guard wall I dragged in a ragged breath. From head to toe I was shaking as fire consumed my bones turning my marrow molten making it leak out into my muscle and organs. _This has to be Hell on earth_. My legs gave out and I crumpled onto the soiled concrete. The air here smelled of rank meat, rotting fruit and moldy cardboard. Just on the other side of the wall people were working away in a kitchen where the food wasn't decaying, where the air was warm, and their lives were happy. Normal.

Reaching into the pocket of my dirty dumpster jacket I pulled out the syringe and a belt. Tying the belt tight around my upper arm I watched as my veins surfaced looking blue and faint, delicate, like glass. Lifting the syringe I tapped the plastic barrel forcing air bubbles to the top making the clear-amberish liquid shake with each impact. As I lifted the needle, resting the sharp metal tip to my veins, I felt tears start to stream from my face.

All I wanted was to get better. To live a full life with my brothers, to marry Masaomi and maybe have a family. Not that not using this needle, and the miracle painkiller in it would change anything that was but some sick part of me hoped that it would. That maybe this was all a bad dream and when the high was over there would be no pain; there would be no sickness that I would just wake up in Masaomi's arms warm and safe. I pushed the needle up into my vein with a shaky hand and quickly pushed the plunger down. Hot liquid rushed my veins but the high was near instant taking away my pain.

I tossed the syringe aside and loosened the belt from my arm. The sun had set and the cold was getting to me. Crawling across the concrete flat I sat down, against that kitchen wall beneath a heat exhausted, and curled into a ball. _What makes you think they'd take you back? Out of obligation? Just to be a burden to them all over again? They'd never trust you with the amount of lies you've spun. They'd never want you back. You're just some diseased animal they keep around the house because they have to_.

Curling up into a ball I cried. The heroin helped with the physical pain but it didn't erase the reality of what I'd done. How I'd hurt them all. It didn't stop that nasty voice of reality from speaking to me and in some ways I wanted nothing but to die tonight. Be done with it. But….the thought of leaving everyone hurt more than the hurt of living.

"I'm sorry."

Yusuke

"If A is the representation of the longest side of the triangle-"

He turned his gaze aside to stare out the window letting the teacher's voice fade to a dull hum in the back of his skull. _**When will this damn snow stop?!**_ It had been a damn month with this weather and he was starting to get the indoor-itch. He wanted nothing more than to run and feel the sun on his skin…Yusuke put his chin in his hand as he stared out the window. _I want to play soccer with her again_.

Soft white flakes were floating down from the sky, crowding the ground, and bowing the trees. From the fourth story he could see over the courtyard, beyond the security gate, and into the city beyond. Buildings, skyscrapers, telephone poles and black wires broke up the sky like sharp teeth protruding from the earth. At the center of the scattered skyline he could picture that indoor field, inside the many windowed building, that they'd played on not that long ago. _She was good_. They'd kicked the ball back and forth, ignoring everything around them, and she'd kicked his butt. Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…

"Asahina."

Yusuke looked up from digging in his pant pocket for his loudly buzzing phone. The teacher was standing at the front of the class glaring while everyone had turned to stare at him.

Yusuke stood, "Uh…excuse me, teacher, urgent call."

Quickly he left out into the hall pulling the phone from his pocket.

"What?"

"Yusuke?"

"Yea, who else? What do you want Tsubaki?! I'm in class!"

The classroom door opened, "Asahina!" the teacher snapped peering out, "Quiet!" the door slammed.

Yusuke sighed and rolled his eyes turning his back to the door, "What Tsubaki?!"


	24. Chapter 24

"Come quick! I found Lex."

Tsubaki

"Tsubaki?" Azusa called from his booth as he stepped out into the hallway.

He stopped and turned back to his brother, "I'm fine, Azusa, I'm just going to take a break real quick."

Ignoring his brother's worried look Tsubaki turned away and wandered down the hall. He couldn't focus and he'd been fumbling his lines since dawn frustrating the producer into a profanity fit. Without focus he was no good. Hurrying out of the studio the hall beyond the sound proof door was loud with phones, faxes and chattering voices. Taking the elevator down to the bottom level he causally walked out into the morning light and breathed in deep.

"Ugh." He buried his hands in his hair disheveling it, "Lex."

Tsubaki wandered down the street taking the nearest alleyway to gaze over the fire escapes that were rusted over. The street was wet where the sun had hit the snow turning it to water. His boot steps echoed out against the building walls on either side of the street bouncing back like thunder. He yawned.

When Masaomi had come out about…..them…..he'd been more than shocked. Not so much that Lex had been in love with someone because that had been very obvious. For months she'd walked around with that cheery glazed over look in her eye and he knew she was in love. She never said who it was and some part of him hoped that she had fallen for him. _She wouldn't be in this position if she'd been with me_. What a lofty thought.

He passed a cardboard box that had been soaked by the snow turning it a dark brown and kicked it away angrily. _Masaomi's too weak for this. Too weak to protect her_. He turned back to the cardboard box and kicked it again sending it sailing across the alley smacking into the wall of a building.

"Uhhhhh."

Tsubaki turned back to the inlet, just off the alley, at the sound of the groan. Buried under flat boxes he spied a pair of pale feet. They were calloused, cut up and bruised black and blue. The light orange paint on its toes was cracked and flaked off.

"H-Hello?"

Slowly Tsubaki approached the pale feet.

"H-Hello."

Silence. Reaching out he took hold of the cardboard box and flipped several of them back revealing a tiny body swamped by a dirty, torn coat. One side of the coat was flopped open revealing a pale arm tied tight with a black belt, a needle hanging out of her arm and the syringe empty.

"H-Hey." He gently tapped the girl's naked calf and she twitched.

Kneeling down Tsubaki reached out and brushed the dirt caked hair away-

"LEX!"

Her skeletal face twisted as if the light hitting her eyelids hurt and tried to roll over. Tsubaki's heart dropped out the bottom of his stomach and he felt sick. Quickly he scooped up Lex feeling no weight to her.

"Lex! Hang on!"


	25. Chapter 25

The young doctor had given his prognosis. "There's no help we can give you now. A foreign catalyst has done too much damage, mutated and sped up the cancer, so go home and wait for the inevitable. I'm sorry but I estimate you only have nine days." My hospital room had been packed when he'd spoken the truth I already knew, had known. When he'd left dad and Mrs. Miwa followed, undoubtedly, arguing with him to do something. An odd hush had fallen over everyone, I breathed out finding peace in that awkward moment, and then the shit hit the fan.

"WELL, what a fine mess we've all made!" Hikaru announced startling everyone, "Lets thank our stars actors."

 **SMACK!**

Hikaru sent Masaomi sprawling, off the stool he was perched on, into the cold linoleum floor. Everyone was just as shocked as Masaomi at the abrupt violence.

"Thanks for being so oblivious to your girls pain that you drove her into such a dangerous, desperate situation. Way to go Ophelia."

Turning swiftly Hikaru planted a fist in Ukyo's gut, a knee to his groin and then-

 **SLAP!**

"And you, you back stabbing Iago, thanks for being such a royal jackass to _use_ Lex in an attempt to hurt your own brother!"

Hikaru marched towards me, a soft look in his eye and-

 _POP!_

"HIKARU!"

The slap stung more the he intended, I'm sure, but it shocked me out of my stupor. Tsubaki and Azusa pulled Hikaru away from me.

"And you. You cannot carry the whole world on your shoulders so stop trying! Trust us to help you. To bare things with you. Stop. Running. Away."

He had a point but-

I smiled pleasantly, "And which of you, by telling you the truth, could change the outcome of my disease?"


	26. Chapter 26

Tsubaki and Mirror's

Coming home was a whole other ring of Hell. Mrs. Miwa was still in tears and dad seemed to have lost his mind in the bowels of thought. My brothers were speechless, even Hikaru to everyone's surprise-I think-, and Masaomi kept giving me mournful glances. It was pissing me off. I didn't need anyone's pity.

As soon as I got home I went to my room, not wanting to get caught up in any group break downs, desperate for a shower. The stink of hospital was all over me and dark purple pools were surfacing where my IV's had been removed. I felt cold and fragile and falling apart. I hated it.

The shower did me some good, blocking out the world, washing off the man-made Death. Hot water seeped life into my weary bones and the steam eased my tired breathing. When I got out I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and froze. My skin had paled, like I'd been drained of blood, eyes sunken into dark pits, lips faded, cracked, flesh stretched taut over skeleton.

I punched the mirror.

The glossy surface splintered before shattering away from its home and rained down hitting the sink and floor with shrill cries. I grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped myself up in it and my knuckles started to bleed. Shards were splayed about my feet glistening with the overhead light showing me how broken down I'd become.

"LEX!"

Suddenly the bathroom door flew open. I lifted my gaze and met Tsubaki's. His amethyst eyes were wide, shaky as they took everything in, making me clutch at the towel about me.

"Wha-Are you hurt?" he asked walking in.

His boots crunched over the glass. Gently he scooped me up into his arms and carried me out into my room. Setting me on the bed he knelt down and examined my bare feet. I curled my toes.

"Did you…uh…."he glanced back into the bathroom then to me, "fall into the mirror?"

The abrupt image my mind formed made me-

"Ah! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

The frustration and anger and sorrow I'd been wrestling with vanished for that moment, lost in that laugh, that Tsubaki was able to find in me.

He put a soft hand on top of my head, "That's my girl." He smiled and then he kissed me.


	27. Chapter 27

Attempt to Normal

School wasn't any easier.

Where ever I went students scattered aside at my coming and whispered at my leaving. Rumors had set the campus ablaze! Some said I was pregnant, an explanation for my baggy clothes, others a drug addict, government experiment, bio-terrorist but no matter how askew the rumors the end was always right.

I was dying.

In the long run it didn't matter. I had no real friends, save my brothers, but the treatment, human to human, stung quite a bit. Nevertheless I walked those halls with my head held high and all the bravado of before.

Let them whisper.

They could kiss my ass to the very end.

Half way through the day I was exhausted. Sitting in the back of the class I lazily stared at the white board as the teacher repeated some complex problem. Beside me sat Yusuke, quietly taking notes, and casting worried glances at me every so often. Suddenly the bell rang and everyone started packing up.

"You're sure you don't want to go home?" Yusuke asked picking up his pack and then mine.

I took my back, firmly, and flung it over my shoulder, "No. I need to get out."

When the pack came down, smacking into my back, the burst of pain almost crippled me.

"Besides-"I breathed, "PE is my favorite class."

Yusuke gave me a doubtful look.

The gym was loud with life but the running track, suspended above the gym floor, was quiet. Red turf carpeted the floor making every step springy. I couldn't wait to run _. I wonder if I'll fall apart_? Already I could picture myself coming unhinged at the joints-

"Lex?"

I turned to see Iori climbing the stairs.

"Hey Iori." I called weakly making my way over to the railing.

As he came up to the track he gave me a wary look, "Where's Yusuke?"

I shrugged, out of habit, causing pain. Iori sighed heavily. Ever since I'd been outed it seemed Yusuke had been getting into more and more fights. Whether it was from me or not no one could say.

"Hopefully he's not in a fight." Iori looked down at me, "How're you feeling?" he asked feeling my forehead.

"Ready to run!" I chirped pushing his hand away briskly.

"I don't think-"

I didn't wait for him to finish. Jumping on the track I started jogging the circular track. Iori quickly joined me keeping easy pace. The cancer had slowed me, dramatically, and every movement was laborious instead of smooth like before. But at least I could still run.

As we came about to our third lap every step, every breath abruptly surged pain through my veins making me shake. _**No! Not this**_! Running was my only freedom from life, from the shitty hand it'd dealt me, its torture. At home there was no relief. The air was always heavy, everyone always tip-toeing around me, always asking if I'm okay, Masaomi's sorrowful looks, dads silence, Mrs. Miwa's tears….. _ **Don't take this from me**_! My muscles burned, like I'd just climbed a mountain, like my life was being sucked out…..This is my body and you will do as I say!

"Hey Yusuke-LEX!"

Sucking in a deep breathe I took form and charged into a dead run. One step….two step, I was picking up speed! My body was obeying! Performing! And then my legs just gave out…

"LEX!"

I hit the raw track, tumbling over myself, before stopping on my belly. I heard Yusuke and Iori running up behind me. Rolling onto my back I sat up and stared at my useless legs. Suddenly Yusuke and Iori had flanked me.

"What's wrong?!" Yusuke barked.

Iori looked me over, "Did you break anything?"

Balling my hands up into fists I punched at my thigh and felt nothing. I tried to move my toes and couldn't. Tears blurred my vision stinging like wasps to the eyes. Hopelessness, the ugly little bastard, clawed at the innards of my gut and fear had made a gnarled nest in my chest. I hit my legs again trying to bring back some feeling. Iori grabbed my wrists and I struggled against him. He wasn't using much strength and still I could not force him away. The damn broke and hot tears spilled down my face

"J-Just make this stop." I breathed.

Iori let go of my wrists and wrapped me up in his arms.

"Why did Tsubaki have to bring me back?"

Yusuke leaned against my back gently encompassing me with his arms.

"Why're there no answers!?" I balled into my hands as I covered my face, "WHY!?"

Encircled by my brothers I cried, for the first time, until there was nothing but darkness.


	28. Chapter 28

Opportunity Soji

When I came to, from a dreamless sleep thank God, Tsubaki was carrying me somewhere. My eyelids felt heavy, weighed down with cement, but I managed a peek up at my guardian and then my surroundings. Iori and Yusuke had brought me back home. Much to my relief.

"Stop playing hot potato with me." I mumbled.

Tsubaki stopped walking and the heat rushing from his body drew me in. I sighed contently even though I was beginning to feel like a zombie, just latching onto everyone when I could, and it made me wonder if they felt me drawing off of them. I shivered.

"Can you feel your legs?"

I shook my head. He started moving again.

"You pushed yourself too hard."

"Uhhhh."

My lids were still heavy but at least my lips worked, "Where-"

"To your room. You know you scared the shit out of Iori and Yusuke."

 _Oh. That's right. I cried like an idiot until I passed out_. I heard a door open and the smell of lilies filled my head near to bursting. I knew it was Iori's doing and I felt bad that I couldn't see the flowers that had flooded my room. Tsubaki gently set me on the bed and I breathed out as the weight of my own self spread even. He tucked me in with heavy covers.

"Tell Iori and Yusuke I'm sor…"I sighed out."

The bed gave a little as Tsubaki sat down next to me. His warm hand brushed across my forehead, his fingers carding through my hair, and while it felt nice I found myself missing Masaomi.

"What's wrong?"

I smiled, "I was going to say tell them I'm sorry but, I think by not, sorry doesn't count for shit."

He snorted. We sat in a long silence and I was nearly asleep when….

"Can I ask you something Lex?"

"Hmmm?" my mind was foggy with pending sleep.

"Why didn't you tell any of us about Ukyo? Or M-Masaomi?"

I sighed. At some point I knew these questions would arise at some point but it was hard to guess from whom they would come.

"I…I didn't want to tell anyone about Ukyo because I didn't want to start any fighting between him and Masaomi. You know they don't really get along anyways." I yawned, "It was kind of the same reason I didn't want anyone else knowing about Masaomi and me. Although I was planning on telling everyone when I turned eighteen-"

"Because Ukyo would lose his blackmail material then, wouldn't he?"

I nodded slowly.

"Why did you run away?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I was angry. I wasn't thinking, really, but I also knew that I would rather die out in the streets than in this bed."

"You're not going to die, Lex."

My mind was at its limit already, "T-Tsubaki…..d-don't lie to me. It is what it is."

He kissed my forehead, "I won't let you die."

I yawned, "M-Masaomi….."

Sitting bedside Tsubaki gently ran his fingers through her soft hair listening to her soft breathing. It made his heart hurt in the worst way, hearing Lex whisper for his brother who was unworthy of such love, but he didn't hate her for it. The heart wants what the heart wants. His brow furrowed, hard, as her breathing turned shallow, raspy, in her throat. A child went down his spine and Tsubaki looked away, down her room hall, to the door. Masaomi was hovering there looking like a ghastly corpse. Quietly Tsubaki stood, tucking Lex in one last time, and left the room.

"What do you want?" Tsubaki snarled closing Lex's bedroom door behind him; hiding her from his brother's sight.

Masaomi backed away, almost to the opposite wall, "H-How is she?"

Tsubaki looked from the door, at his back, then back to his brother and felt nothing but venom rise from the pit of his stomach, "She's dying. How do you think she's doing?"

Masaomi swallowed loudly.

"You know-"Tsubaki balled his hands into fists at his sides, "the worst part of all this is that she still **wants** _you_."

His brother's jaw dropped in obvious shock furthering the raging inferno in Tsubaki's stomach.

"She still wants the chicken-shit man who doesn't have enough balls to go and see her. The scum who didn't even try looking for her when she left! She. Still. Wants. You. Even though you never even fought for her." Tsubaki was shaking angrily, "You're pathetic!"

"Tsubaki!"

He ignored the snap of Kaname who'd just come out of the elevator. Arriving from the temple to take his turn watching over Lex.

"It shouldn't be any of us at her bedside! Any of us taking care of her! It should be you-you spineless piece of shit!"

All Masaomi could do was stare at his younger brother letting those words sink in.

"Tsubaki! Be quiet!" Kaname warned joining the group, "Lex needs her rest!"

" **You loved her so much that you bedded her right away or was that just an easy fuck for you?**!"

Kaname grabbed onto Tsubaki as he went to swing at Masaomi when-

 **CRUNCH**!

Masaomi's fist flew before he knew what he was doing. It made contact sending Tsubaki to the floor as Kaname let go and stepped away. Crimson spread across the wooden floor and as Tsubaki pushed himself up onto hands and knees he smiled.

"You don't deserve someone so vibrant." He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pressed it to his broken nose to stop the bleeding, "You'd only snuff out her sunshine."

 _I wasn't sure what time it was but I knew…._

" _Nooooooo." I moaned at the gentle hand trying to wake me, "it's too early! Go away!"_

 _A warm chuckle drove the sleep from my mind instantly. My eyes shot open as I sat up. Masaomi was sitting bedside. His hair was disheveled, there was color in his face and his warm brown eyes were bright._

" _Masa-"_

 _Gently he ran his fingers across my cheek, my breath catching in my throat, and then kissed me. His lips were warm, soft, commanding like I remembered. My heart leapt for joy at his touch and-_

"Alexis? Can you hear me?"

I opened one eye and glared up at a stranger staring down at me. In too much paint to really react I just snorted.

"Who are you Stranger?"

He smiled, crinkling the corner of his eyes, "My name's Soji. I'm a friend of Masaomi's."

Closing my eye I yawned, "Go away. Let me die in peace."

Soji. The name was familiar. Masaomi had mentioned him once before.

"Stop being selfish!"

I was abruptly yanked upright and the sudden pain made me want to vomit. Good thing I hadn't eaten in a while. Futo, who'd pulled me to sit up, glared at me from the foot of my bed. I glared back.

"You're going to regret that when I whip your ass."

Futo smiled cockily, "I welcome you to it."

Soji chimed in, "Ah, Lex, good you're awake!"

I looked from Futo to Soji in annoyance.

He smiled making his dark eyes sparkle, "Now then be a good girl and let me look you over."

I didn't get why Masaomi called his friend over to look at me. Soji did nothing that Masaomi wouldn't have. He checked my lungs, reflexes, pulse, temperature and so on. After a while Futo wandered out looking board leaving me alone with Soji. With an exasperated sigh Soji sat back in his chair and eyed me.

"I never thought he'd leave."

I gazed at him questioningly.

"Look, I'll be honest, Masaomi called me to visit in the hopes that he could right his wrong."

I frowned, "Wha-"

Soji leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, "The serum he was giving you, while it was a band aid attempt, went haywire, mutated the cancer, and propelled it. There isn't another band aid fix for this second strain."

I snorted, "I know."

"But, make no mention to anyone especially Masaomi, there might be a cure. You interested?"


	29. Chapter 29

Day 7

 _"The procedure would be highly dangerous-"_

 _"Of course."_

 _"-and it isn't even experimental, really, just theory. So you'd be my first human trial."_

 _"Lex?"_

"Huh?" I looked up from the dominos on the table to Natsume across from me.

He gave me a worried look but I quickly smiled. Today was his shift to watch me. Upon coming back I'd insisted that everyone live a normal life but, like usual as of late, I was ignored. It wasn't a comfortable arrangement making them seem like vultures waiting for me to drop dead. I moved my domino.

"Are you doing okay?"

I nodded, "Just lost in thought."

"Oh?" he moved his tile, "What about?"

The truth, again, wasn't an option so I switched to a lesser truth.

"What happened between Ukyo and Masaomi? Who's' Nina?"

For a second Natsume's expression hardened like he was instantly trying to push away the memory but it quickly passed.

"A long time ago, the twos' senior year, Ukyo was in love with a classmate, Nina, who was friends with Masaomi."

I moved my tile. Natsume stared at the board.

"Ukyo and Nina hit it off. Really well. It helped that she was just a bubbly person I guess because Ukyo was no cup of tea back then."

I snorted. Natsume moved his tile.

"Long story short he was jealous of Nina and Masa's friendship, they'd always been close, and he started to see something that wasn't really there. It turned him possessive. Nina and Ukyo got in an argument, he went to hit her, but Masa stepped in taking the blow instead. Right place right time I guess. Masa told Nina to run away and never look back and that's what she did."

I moved my tile, "So they've hated each other ever since?"

"Yea."

Ukyo and Masaomi didn't seem particularly friendly to one another but they certainly didn't act like they hated each other. At least I never got that feeling. A long silence enveloped us making my brain go into auto-piolet.

 _"The serum I plan to use would, if it is successful, eradicate the cancer completely and repair the damage. The whole process would take only ten minutes."_

 _"Ten minutes! I'm in-"_

 _"Hold on! There's more you need to know. Those ten minutes would be extremely painful. No anesthesia would work. You would be tied, restrained, to a bed, the serum would be spring injected, and then it would be raked through your body by an MRI ring. Once this is started stopping would guarantee death."_

"I'm sorry Ukyo dragged you into the past." Natsume sighed running his hand through his hair.

I shrugged softly, "Where is he anyways?"

"He moved into a condo on the east side."

Both of us looked away from one another to see Futo come strolling into the kitchen. Throwing open the fridge door he rummaged through its contents looking for a soda per the norm. Natsume checked his watch and stood up.

"Time to go. Futo you on?"

Standing up, popping a soda crisply, he nodded.

"Feel better Lex." Natsume encouraged giving my hand a reassuring squeeze before leaving.

Futo watched Natsume leave and was quiet until the elevator door tinked closed. Leaning on the table I stood up and pointed my cane, Soji had given me it because if I broke something apparently no doctor would be able to fix it, at Futo who's mouth was about to open.

"I'm tired and I don't want to hear your crap about how I'm selfish. We've been through this eight times already. I get it." Putting my cane down I hobbled over to the couch, "Can we just watch movies instead? I need something to take my mind away from everything."

Slowly I sat down on the plush couch feeling my hollowed bones rest. Futo joined me sitting, surprisingly close to me, and flicked on the TV. For a long moment we sat side by side as he flipped through the channels to find a good movie. It was the middle of the week so I didn't expect there to be anything really good but he managed to find an ancient episode of Gilligan's Island playing.

"You like this don't you?" Futo mumbled.

I nodded and smiled as he set the remote down. This show made me smile.

 _"And what does it mean if I do it?"_

 _"There are several outcomes I've found on…..animal subjects."_

 _"One the serum kills you before the treatment; it only takes nanoseconds to do so. Two the pain is simply too much, it overwhelms your brain, and you hemorrhage. Three the pressure change forces all the blood from your pores. Four the serum tears you apart, shredding your entire body from head to toe like a giant cheese grater working from the inside out, you will live for eight minutes only to die. Five, this is my favorite, you survive and are cancer free."_

Something warm enveloped my hand startling from my thoughts. Looking down I saw Futo had wrapped his hand around mine.

"F-Futo?" I asked looking up at him.

He continued to stare at the TV not bothering to look at me when he explained, "I read that human touch had stop pain and heal wounds. I don't think I've seen anyone hug you since you came back, have they?"

 _Well Tsubaki kissed me…._ I watched Futo waiting for his explanation.

"I think…..I think everyone's too afraid that they might break you." His cheeks tinted pink, "So is this working or not?"

I smiled at this unexpected soft side, "Yes. Thank you. It's helping a lot."

 _"So what's in it for you if this works? Why are you helping me?"_

 _"My mother and father and sister died of cancer and I had to watch them do it. They're the reason why I became a doctor because I want to stop this disease. Look I've known about you and Masaomi since the get-go and I love Masaomi like a brother. You're a sweet girl who he is deeply in love with, so much so that he doesn't know what to do, and I can't see him go through what I did."_

 _"What if this doesn't work? Won't you get in trouble?"_

 _"Yea, probably, but I'll be living in Cuba before they can find me. You know. I've heard Cuba is nice and warm too._ "

Sitting on the couch, blindly watching the TV flicker, I stared down the two roads set before me….


	30. Chapter 30

Day 6

The elevator dinged as it reached the bottom floor and the doors slid open. Beyond the world waited. Stepping out, my feet landing softly, I had to lean on my cane to keep from collapsing on my shaky legs. Outside, beyond the entrance doors and mail boxes, the sun was out and the warm air smelled sweet. Iori had planted hibiscus out in the flower beds as the strange cold snap had left the island. The tree that sat in the center of the courtyard was preparing for bloom with sweet little green buds all over its ancient bark branches.

Slowly, far slower than I should be, I hobbled over to the tree, climbed the little dais, and sat down at its base. Panting with the effort I set my cane aside and leaned back taking in the beautiful flower beds. Iori had selected some wonderful colors with bursts of yellow mingled with reds, pinks and even a soft purple. _Never thought I'd see a purple hibiscus_. A warm breeze wafted through the place rattling the branches overhead. I yawned. Sleep had been elusive ever since Soji's visit and in one more day he would visit again.

To most people looking in it would seem an obvious choice. Choose the treatment. I closed my eyes and sighed. _If it doesn't work I die. If I don't do it I die. If I do it there's a slim chance I might live_. I already knew Masaomi wouldn't like this plan and that, if I told him, he would do everything to stop me. As I relaxed in that peaceful place I let my thoughts stray from this constant path of strain to Masaomi…I missed him.

"Lex."

I opened my eyes to see Masaomi standing at my feet watching me with worried eyes.

I smiled, "I might be on a cane but I move quickly."

Masaomi, who was panting slightly like he'd been running around, smirked. An awkward silence passed between us but I never took my eyes off him or stopped smiling. Sighing he ran a shaky hand through his hair and a deep look of doubt filled his handsome face.

"Lex….I-"he stopped with a groan of uncertainty.

Patiently I waited, my breath hitched in my throat, my heart beating unsteadily in my chest making me dizzy. A warm breeze rolled through ruffling his chocolate hair which had become quite ragged. Finally he dropped down onto his knees and bowed pressing his forehead flat against the earth.

"Lex I'm sorry!" he cried out painfully, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!-"

The suffering that was pouring out his mouth from his soul moved me quickly. Sitting up, tucking my legs beneath me, I curled over his back cradling his ear close to my heart.

"Stop! Stop Masaomi." I breathed in his trembling shoulders.

He shook his head, "I'm sorry, Lex, that's all I can say! I'm sorry I abandoned you! I'm sorry I let you fall! I wish I could take your place! I'm sorry the serum didn't work! I-"

His whole being was shaking, trembling filling up with fear and self-hatred beneath me and it was frightening.

"Masaomi." I spoke softly, calmly, quietly.

He stilled. I smiled into his back hoping he could feel it.

"I blame you for nothing. This is not your fault. It simply is what it is."

He breathed shakily.

"I love you all the more each day, no matter how far or close you are, because we were meant to be-"

"Tsubaki was right though! I'm pathetic! I'm not a fighter!"

Oh yes. I'd heard about these two quarreling and I'd given Tsubaki an ear full for it too.

"Masaomi!" I snapped quieting him once more, "You were not meant to be a fighter, and that's okay, because I was born a fighter. But I wasn't born to be a peace keeper and that's what you are."

Slowly I sat up and, gently taking his broad shoulders, I forced him to sit up and face me too. His eyes were red rimmed already, not an uncommon sight as of late, and his expression was grim.

"I love you. I miss you. I want you. Understand that I do not expect you to save me like some damsel stuck in a tower. I can fight for myself but I can't maintain peace during the storm. Teach me how to do that, please."

He blinked as he watched me seemingly stunned.

"I love you Masaomi and that will never change."

He exhaled and pulled me against his chest wrapping me up in his shaking arms, "Lex, I love you too….Please teach me how to fight."

Gingerly I wrapped my arms about him hugging him back and smiled as the warmth of him washed over me.

"Of course I will."

Finally back in his arms I felt the weight of my life fall away and I could breathe again. While my brothers had brought me temporary comfort and moments of laughter no one could bring this peace like Masaomi did. He leaned back a bit, gently pushed the hair from my face, and kissed me softly. It was a gesture so tender that I nearly wept.

I had _my_ Masaomi back.

Okay first I want to give a HUGE SHOUTOUT to **ILoveKuramaTooMuch** -THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH! For all your reviews and continued support in my writings. I am so happy to hear how much you enjoy them as well as your perspective.

The second shout out goes to anyone and everyone who reads and reviews. Thank you! I always welcome constructive critique and praise.

My third shout out goes to all the Ukyo fans out there-I AM SO SORRY that I turned him into such a bastard and believe me I struggled with it for a long time but it was a logical choice to expose Ukyo and Masaomi's past and current relationship. It also made no sense to pull in a third entity like in Natsume's story.

I don't know how many more chapters there will be but I hope everyone enjoys the ride to come! Keep reading and commenting!


	31. Chapter 31

Day 5

" _I love you_."

I smiled as a warm hand brushed down my back in a steady motion. For once I was waking up warm, in Masaomi's arms, after a content night of sleep. At the moment he hadn't caught on that I was awake so I played possum a little bit.

" _I've wasted so much time_."

I yawned and stretched gingerly in his arms, "Rule number one of being a fighter: You never revisit the past." Opening my eyes I stared up at him, "You can't change it anyways."

He looked down on me with shimmering chocolate eyes and I realized that he'd been crying. Quickly I sat up, making my head spin, and hugged him.

"Masaomi?"

His arms wrapped around me and he buried his face against my chest turning his ear to listen to my heart. Sharply he inhaled and it caught in his throat. I already knew what he was hearing. My heart beat had weakened in the past few days, my body was beginning to slow down, it was preparing to terminate itself with OR without my consent.

"I-"his voice was torn up into something ugly, inhumanly made by sorrow, "I've wasted so much time."

His hug gripped me tighter and it was painful. I hugged him back just as fiercely and rested my chin on top of his head. Over my headboard, beyond the window, the world shinned with sunlight brilliant and vibrant and struggling. The sun dawned over the distant mountains and the city skyline and…..

" _Clarity_."


	32. Chapter 32

Miscalculation

I woke consumed by nausea, Masaomi was gone, so I rolled out of bed smacking flat against the hard wood floor. When my skull hit it made a hollow sound that filled the room and I wondered if the cancer had eaten my head empty. Rolling onto my belly I managed to keep the bile in the base of my throat but it wasn't willing to stay there for long. Crawling on elbows and forearms I dragged my useless body across the wood floor, onto the cold tile of the bathroom-

"Lex?!"

"Toilet now!" I bellowed.

Louis scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way.

"Out!" I yelled flipping the lid and seat up with a slam.

He didn't leave and I was out of time. Popping up onto my knees I braced my hands on the edges of the bowl and hurled. Louis gently pulled my hair back out of my face and rubbed my back. Bile, green and blood mingled, slid up my throat tasting like sun rotted roadkill to splash down into the water beneath me. _**Shit**_! Quickly I flushed before Louis could see all the blood and let my head lull back as I gasped in cold air. It looked like the doctors prediction of nine days was off by several. _My times up_.

"Louis go get me the phone, please, as quickly as you can."

Quickly I showered and dressed. Soji would be here any minute and so would Masaomi according to Louis. He asked no questions as to what I was doing, where I was going, or who I had called when I asked him to leave the room but I knew he was worrying. Pulling on an old white t-shirt I grabbed my wood cane and made my way out of my room into the hall. The condo was conspicuously empty today, with the exception of Louis, and I feared the stillness was a foreshadowing of things to come. _This is no time for fear_. I stilled myself as I set an envelope down on the green couch across from the elevator….you know, in case things didn't go right. I'd left one in my room, on my pillow for Masaomi, and one in dad's favorite book that was sitting on the coffee table. Everyone would be taken care of if this didn't go as hoped for. With a deep breath I turned and headed towards the elevator.

Soji was waiting.


	33. Chapter 33

Dooms Day

Soji's lab was hidden in the basement regions of a massive medical complex. While the complex was many things, hospital, ER, maternity ward and I was sure far more than I could see it was a lot cozier than where I ended up. As the elevator reached the level beneath the basement, one only accessible by ID key, the doors slid open and I took a step back.

Before me stretched a long, windowless, sterile hallway with flickering fluorescents. The air was cold, stale, void of life but filled with death and the smell of needles, rubber and alcohol wafted over me. Soji, who was standing next to me, reached out placing hands on both of my shoulders.

"Alexis….you don't have to do this." He spoke calmly, "I won't be bothered or angry. You need to be comfortable. Alexis?"

There was a single door at the very end that stared back at me like someone eyed monster. Fear had literally rooted me to the elevator floor as I stared down the hall that would lead to my death or my life. In my chest my heart was racing turning my blood acidic in my veins making me want to vomit. A cold sweat had broken out across my body and I thought I might pass out.

"Alexis?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I'm fine. I want to do this."

Soji gave me a questioning look but he dint urge me foreword or back. He left the choice up to me. Scared stupid, panic and anxiety riddled, I stepped off that elevator onto the concrete floor and heard my footsteps echo down the distance. Next to me Soji marched, keeping an easy laid back pace, a dark angle in a white lab coat and bright blue tie. Coming to the door I was surprised it didn't need any fingerprints to unlock it. Instead he just pushed the door open and beyond it was another room.

As we entered the lights came on automatically revealing a viewing window into yet another room. There were several monitors stacked on either side of the viewing window and beneath it sat a control board with switches, buttons and blinking lights. It looked like something more adept for the Bat cave than a hospital treatment room. I looked up at Soji as he began turning on monitors.

"Did you tell anyone you were coming?"

I shook my head as I rubbed my arm in unease, "No. I thought about it but knowing Masaomi he'd have stopped me. Any of them would."

Soji looked over from the control board as he was pressing buttons, "Indeed. You are an amazing girl from what I have heard from Masa." He smiled warming, "I'm glad that he found his happiness."

Behind me the door opened and I squeaked as I jumped out of the way. I was still surprised that I could even jump. A tiny lady, only four foot tall, entered in a white nurse's gown and cap. When she saw me she bowed and then turned to Soji.

"Doctor." She smiled.

Soji smiled at her and looked to me, "This is my assistant, Ikiko."

I smiled, "H-Hello."

"She'll be helping you with the things I can't."

I frowned, "Cant?"

He nodded as he scratched his head embarrassed, "Um, well, you can't do this with your clothes on…Or hair on your body."

I felt a flush take over my face. Swiftly I looked away from Soji to Ikiko. She smiled and giggled a bit.

"Please, come with me Miss. Asahina." She gestured to another door just to my left.

Beyond that second door was the white room. It was barren, voided of even cracks in the paint, with the exception of a giant looking MRI. As Ikiko rubbed down my naked body with this iodine solution, and gently brushed away ALL my body hair with a special rag, I eyed the cot-like bed that jutted out from the hollow center of the machine. There were many, many straps made of thick, metal threaded, leather with cuffs for my ankles, thighs, stomach, wrists, upper arms and neck. At the head there was a medieval looking head restraint and blooming off of the left side there was a huge plate that would easily take up half of my chest from shoulder to the bottom of my ribs. The underside glistened with several needles.

"Don't look at it too hard." Ikiko chided as she washed away the dye to reveal a perfectly hairless body.

Looking down at her I was amazed and embarrassed at the pile of hair round my feet.

"Don't be embarrassed." She commented as if reading my thoughts, "We all have a second of us in hair, you know."

I laughed and felt a little bit of my tension go away.

"So how do you know Soji?" I asked.

After being washed clean Ikiko stood to her feet and grabbed one of those horrible hospital gowns from the floor. Holding up my arms she wrapped my up in it and thank my lucky stars my ass wasn't showing.

"Several years ago I was dying. My heart, for whatever reason, had just stopped. No one gave me any answers except to die." She tied the gown on tightly bringing out my boney form, "They blamed bad genetics. Doctor Soji heard about me, I'd worked with him once or twice before, and he helped me. He grew an artificial heart from pig tissues and when it was ready he put it into me."

I put my arms down and looked back at her, "Really? Why didn't he publish his findings? I mean that would be big news for people in need of transplants, right?"

Ikiko walked around to stand in front of me and gently held my hands in hers, "The same reason no one will ever hear about your magnificent healing. Society and "Ethics Commissions" make such leaps and bounds impossible. Because if such things were to be unearthed many of the health companies would go out of business."

It made sense. Even if it was a total cup of bullshit. The door opened and we both looked over at it.

Soji stepped in, hand in front of his eyes, "I-Is it okay if I open my eyes now?"

Ikiko laughed and let go of my hands. As she walked passed the doctor I thought I saw a glimmer in her eye.

"Yes Doctor. Your patient in descent."

Soji lowered his hand and peeked before fully opening his eyes then he smiled. I grabbed my cane that was propped against the wall and leaned on it with both my hands.

"Alexis?"

I waved him off, "I'm fine."

Stepping up he took one of my arms and led me slowly to the machine, "What changed your mind?" he asked softly.

Reaching the cot I turned and took a seat happy to get pressure off my body.

"I woke up this morning and started vomiting blood." Wearily I looked up at him, "I figured that was a sign my time was up."

His face paled a few shades but he didn't seem visibly shaken. A swell of sickness rolled around in my stomach abruptly.

"C-Can I lay down?"

"Yes, of course!"

Soji supported my shoulders as I lay down on the table feeling the cold plastic against any exposed skin. That helped the sickness a bit as I found myself staring up at a white ceiling.

Soji's face suddenly hovered over me as he seemed to be analyzing me. In the back of my mind I heard…something rolling across the concrete floor, something metal, and heard clanking but I chose to ignore it. Just beyond the doctor I could see the nurse preparing something on a stainless steel tray. My breathing changed to a faster pace.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT HERE!?"

Louis hurried through the house looking desperately. Masaomi swept through ever room, every closet, bathroom-Hikaru stood on the landing reading the note left behind. The writing was shaky; messy…..showed signs of pain. All the brothers were in a panic searching for her. Masaomi bumped into Louis, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, and lifted his feet from the floor.

"What was the last thing you saw her do?!" he snarled.

Louis held his brothers shaky wrists, "I-She called someone! She wanted the phone I-I thought she was calling you."

"Here's the number!" Futo barked running out onto the landing with the phone in his hand.

With each passing second I felt the restraints tighten. Ankles…thighs…wrists….stomach…upper arms…..neck…The mooring straps were suddenly yanked tight pressing me into the cot, into the hard plastic, and it made panic rise in my throat. Metal clasps were clamped onto the straps keeping me from moving. Soji gently pushed my head back resting it into the cradle of the restraint then closed the cage over my face. I saw the world through thin bars of metal now and could hear my pulse pounding between my ears.

"Alexis can you hear me?"

"I'm retrained not deaf doc." I joked nervously.

He laughed, "Very good. Now this is your last chance, do you want to stop? Remember once this starts it cannot be stopped."

I breathed out shakily determined not to let me fear overrun me, "I'm ready."

"Nurse."

On my left side Ikiko lowered that strange plate down so that it hovered only inches from my chest like a protective shield. As I breathed in deep to keep calm, feeling the cold air on my skin and the slime the iodine wash had left behind, I could feel the unbelievable sharpness of the needles protruding from the thing. Soji placed something in my hand, a little round object with a button, and smiled.

"Press this button to talk with us. We can't be in the room when this thing goes off."

"And I can?" I squeaked.

He nodded and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, "The serum allows you to do that. Are you sure you still want to do this?"

For a moment there was doubt. A tiny sliver of denial telling me I didn't need to do this that I could beat it without the treatment…Then I saw Masaomi's face…..Those wonderful brown eyes and that kind hearted smile…..If I missed this opportunity there wouldn't be any more opportunities for _us_. I thought of him…

"Yes." I breathed closing my eyes, "Hurry before I chicken out."

That was all he needed to hear. Soji and Ikiko hurried out of the room locking the door behind them and lit up the viewing window that I could barely see over myself.

"Can you hear me Alexis?"

A voice echoed in the empty room.

I pressed the button and its click echoed out into the emptiness, "Yes."

Soji replied, "Okay-I-"

" **STOP!** "

He burst into the room and shoved Soji away from the flickering control board.

"Masaomi?!" Soji barked.

He looked from his friend to the white room beyond the observation window, "What the hell….."

Lex was there, strapped down to a MRI table, like some animal waiting to be put down.

"What the hell did you do?!" he bellowed grabbing Soji by the shirt.

Soji grabbed Masaomi's wrists and forced his hands away, "Nothing that Alexis didn't agree to."

"What?!"

"Soji?"

Her voice, strained and fearful, suddenly erupted in the room. Soji's assistant flipped a switch.

"She can hear you now." She pointed to the window.

"Lex! Lex what are you doing?!"

He ran to the door and tried to open it but the lock was coded.

"Masaomi? What are you doing here?"

Angry he punched the door with his fists and turned back to Soji, "Open this fucking door now!"

"I can't! Its coded to unlock once the treatment is done."

Masaomi pressed his forehead against the door he'd just punched feeling his knuckles throb.

"Masaomi?"

"I'm here."

"D-Don't worry. I'll be better soon."

"Lex you don't know what you're doing!"

Silence.

"Lex?!" he rushed over towards the window and stared at the thin girl on the cot.

"My times up. If I don't do this I'll be dead by morning."

"Lex! Please don't do this!" he yelled pounding his fist on the window, "You don't know what this could do to you in the long run!"

"This could kill you!"

His voice was only bringing me more anxiety as I lay in that stupid room staring at the ceiling.

"I'm already as good as dead anyways. Soji do it." I called.

I heard the struggle beyond the glass, heard Masaomi throwing punches, equipment being tossed over and Ikiko yelling.

"Masaomi stop fighting them! Let them do it!"

"NO! Lex-"

"I'M ALREADY ON DEATHS DOOR STEP! HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY HURT THE SITUATION ANY FURTHER?!" I screamed hearing my voice ring out in the other ring, "DO IT NOW SOJI! DO IT NOW! DO IT-"

Psssssssssshhhh.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Something next to my head decompressed making me jump and tightening the restraints around me. The cuff over my chest gave a shudder and then the needles shot down piercing my chest each one hitting a single layer as Soji had explained. _**"Skin, fat, tissue, muscle, vein, heart, lung and bone."**_ A scream ripped from my throat and my body tried to convulse but the straps held me in place. Serum rocketed through my body as the white tubes were emptied of blue serum.

Over head the ring of the machine began to spin as the fire spread through my body. Every nerve felt like it was being flayed open, every muscle peeled back one fiber at a time, my brain went into over drive forcing my heart to beat fast, forcing air to fill my burning lungs….I screamed again as the fire reached my toes boiling my blood to near evaporation.

"STAY AWAKE ALEXIS!"

Masaomi shoved Soji back into the far wall and turned back to the control board. In the white room before him he saw Alexis's body turning a deathly pale, her body convulsing, heard the hum of that damn ring as it began to whirl slowly dragging down her body.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Her scream tore through the speaker making it rasp and rattle. He slammed his fists against the control board hitting switches and buttons trying to stop it all. Violently her body bowed and a strap gave way with a loud snap sending a metal piece flying across the room to bury itself into the wall.

"Soji!" the nurse called.

 _ **Stay awake! Stay awake! STAY AWAKE**_! It was all I could do to keep my eyes open as I felt something drag through my body, something thick and congealed, following behind the slowly moving ring. My heart seized, skipping a beat, then beat several times faster only to seize for a beat again. Muscles twisted around my body forcing my joints to bend and twist at odd angles. _Surely death must be more peaceful_!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

My throat tore raw and I tasted copper, felt it bubble up across my lips and down my chin. The pain blurred my vision as the ring reached my hips. _Masaomi. Masaomi. Masaomi_. Ringing suddenly took over my ears and I could hear nothing but silence within it and then I was blinded by light….

He tore a monitor from the stack and threw it at the window.

"WHAT ARE YOU ODING?!" Soji bellowed, "STOP THIS OR YOU'LL KILL HER FOR SURE!"

Masaomi turned as his friend grabbed his arm and planted a good right hook across his jaw. Soji spiraled back smacking into the wall taking down several shelves with glass bottles. They popped loudly as they shattered on the floor staining it with liquids. Masaomi grabbed hold of a section of the control board and lifted it up tearing out cords and sending sparks everywhere. The control room darkened but the white room was still functioning. Lifting the board Masaomi bellowed and smacked the metal piece against the glass sending spider webs of fractures to every corner.

"ALEXIS!"

 _His chocolate eyes….His sweet smile….The heat of his hand on mine…..His kiss…..His touch…My heart…..His heart….Masaomi…_

The white faded from my eyes, the ringing from my ears, and I was back in Hell.

The glass cracked and groaned under the assault. Reeling back Masaomi threw the chunk of metal and circuits. The glass shattered shrilly, falling away, skittering across the floor of the white room. Sirens wailed loudly and the white room was instantly billowed full of white fog that smelled acrid.

"ALEXIS!"

Masaomi mounted the board, or what was left, ready to climb into the room when he was sacked from the right. Soji took him down to the floor.

"We need to get out now!" he barked.

"NO-"

CRACK!

He felt the contact of something hard against his face but then there was nothing but darkness.


	34. Chapter 34

Regenerate

" _Uhhhhhhhh_."

My moan rolled off my tongue filling the dark room to the ceiling. His hands roamed over my body, hot palms leaving trails along my sensitive skin, while his tongue explored my throbbing folds. The sheets beneath my back felt like clouds as his tongue brought me to the brink and then he stopped chuckling against my thigh where his hot lips kissed.

"That's-"I panted, "playing dirty."

I felt Masaomi smile against my skin before getting up onto his hands and knees. Softly he laid butterfly kisses over my hip, the swell of my lower belly, across my ribs and the cusps of my swollen breasts in search of my mouth. Our tongues mingled together, fighting for dominance, but he didn't let me win. Pulling back I kissed his neck, nipping gently at the skin, as my fingertips roamed down his body. Hovering over me he trembled and shivered at my touch making my heart beat faster. Biting down on his shoulder he groaned as I wrapped my hand around his bulging manhood and began to stroke softly.

He pulled away slightly and pressed his forehead to mine, "I love you Lex." He panted against my lips.

"I love you too."

Before I could stop him he pulled my hands away, pinning my wrists above my head, and steadily drove into me reaching into my core. The feeling of having him, my love, my Masaomi fill me up once more was almost too much to bare making tears spring from my eyes. Gently he kissed them away.

Morning came too quickly.

"Lex time to wake up."

Groaning I rolled over, "Go. Away."

The bed shook and bounced as Masaomi crawled around on it. Clumsily I kicked at him trying to shove him off but my blind kicks weren't very efficient.

"Today's graduation. You can't be late!"

Smack!

"Yeow!" I yelped as he smacked my bare ass.

I rolled on my side and hit him with my pillow and that sent him slipping from the foot of the bed.

Sitting up I glared at him, "OH that's what makes you fall off?"

"I-"Masaomi began.

Knock, knock.

I looked over at the bedside clock, seeing the green numbers reading six am, and the glared at the door.

"So help me I'll pelt you with a pillow too!" I snarled.

Masaomi, who was lying on the floor started laughing, so I hit him with my pillow again.

"Lex I hate to wake you but something of your wandered into my room this morning."

I slipped from the bed and pulled on Masaomi's white shirt and sweats making me feel like a circus tent. Crossing the room I unlocked the door and flung it open. Tsubaki was standing there with this dazed, exhausted look on his face and in front of him stood a tiny little boy with this sheepish look on his face. His big brown-hazel eyes stared up at me making his puffy cheeks seem even more cherub like.

"Shiloh-"I sighed kneeling down, "how many times have I told you not to wake your uncles up."

Lifting up the little toddler in my arms he quietly hugged me around the neck. I stood up and Tsubaki ruffled Shiloh's chocolate hair. His father's hair.

"I'm sorry Tsubaki."

He yawned, "I don't mind the little tike but I need a break."

Behind me I was aware of Masaomi standing there watching Tsubaki with careful eyes. I'd managed to smooth everything out between Ukyo and the brothers and Ukyo and me but Tsubaki and Masaomi was a whole other beast. One I didn't quite know how to tackle yet.

"Will you be coming to the graduation?" I asked breaking the tense silence.

Tsubaki looked back to me and smiled, "Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"See you there then." Masaomi said and shut the door.

Turning away from the door I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

I hated being at graduation. I could live without the five hour ceremony but I did it for my family, who never thought they'd see me here, and for Yusuke who was graduating at top of the class. We sat next to one another waiting for our names to be called and peering out into the stadium to spot our family. Masaomi was sitting front row with our son on his lap and I had to smile as they looked like mirror images of one another almost. After calling everyone up and giving out all the diplomas the entire graduating class was dismissed and the bowl would empty out onto the campus where everyone would meet up to celebrate. Yusuke and I headed straight for the quad, where a giant tree sat blooming in the center, to wait for everyone. Yusuke was all smiles, as we stood under the shade of the tree, holding that rolled up piece of paper in his hand.

"This is so amazing!" he cheered.

"Congrats on being top of the class." I smiled up at him, "I knew you could do it."

His cheeks blushed a bit and then he hugged me tightly, "I'm so glad I got to graduate with you and know you." I hugged him back, "You're an amazing soul."

I smiled into his shoulder.

"Mommy!"

Yusuke pulled away and we both looked across the lawn at the trees roots. Shiloh ran over to me and jumped into my arms. Hugging him tightly I spun in a circle, making him giggle, feeling my gown swash about my shins.

"Hey Yusuke you better not be hitting on my wife." Masaomi teased.

"Gross dude. She's my sister." Yusuke raspberried.

Hikaru clapped a hand on Masaomi's shoulder, "Yea, his too, weird right."

"Hikaru, really?" I asked.

He just shrugged and scooted away.

"I say we take the graduating pair out for something special!" Louis cheered.

Everyone looked at Louis, stunned by this sudden energy, and he turned timid.

"Louis, did you get into the energy drinks again?" Natsume asked.

"No!"

Masaomi walked over to me and took both of us into his arms. He kissed Shiloh's forehead and then mine.

"I love you." He told us both.

Shiloh stretched across the gap and hugged his father, "I love you too daddy."

I smiled over his head up at Masaomi and we kissed. My son was like my husband, a man of few words, but when he spoke they were words of healing and peace. _This life, my life, will be wonderful_.

End


	35. Chapter 35

Shiloh

Beep…beep…..beep…..beep…..beep…..beep.

I watched mom, sitting bedside, holding dads hand like an angel with sunshine hair. The hospital room was cold and white washed making everything look sickly. Dada started to cough so mom grabbed the water nearby and helped him drink calming his cough. Quietly I moved to the foot of his bed so I could see him entirely.

His face was wrinkled with time, one eye blind and milky, his hair was completely grey and there were tubs coming out of everywhere. But, despite all that, mom held his ancient hand and smiled, looked at him, with a love so deep not even the universes vastness could compete.

"Lex-"he groaned reaching up and touching her cheek gently, "you are so beautiful. Just like always."

She placed her smooth hand over his and a tear slipped down her cheek rolling across his hand.

"My Masaomi you are just as handsome as ever." She smiled.

In my chest I felt like my heart was being torn to shreds. The sorrow and heartbreak radiating from my mother was palpable. My father sat up, pulling against all the tubes tying him down, and my mother met him. They kissed gently, I saw the light leave his good eye, and then he collapsed back making the heart monitor flat line.

"M-Masaomi? Masaomi!"

"Mom." I hurried to her, as nurses rushed into the room, and pulled her away.

She turned her back and I held her to me as she cried. Dad was ninety-six and at the end of his road. I doubted he was coming back. In my arms my tiny mother, a woman of fierce war mongering and priestly piece, shook with un-screamed cries. I held her tighter to keep her from shaking. The shouting and yelling of the nurses was all but static in my ears and I watched as they rolled dad out on his bed trying desperately to revive him. We were left in the room with the silence.

"Mom." I breathed into her hair, "Dad lived a good life. A long life."

She nodded, "I know." And pulled away suddenly, "I'm sorry Shiloh."

In that moment I saw her face, the face of a seventeen year old even ninety-three years later, steel itself to the next task at hand. As dad had aged mom had remained…preserved in her youth and only seemed to be refined as years went by. She was an unnatural beauty.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked quietly.

She turned back to me and smiled meekly reminding me of my father, "I will always be your mother, Shiloh," she walked over and hugged me, "I want you to go and live your life. I know what I need to do."

She let go and headed towards the door looking fragile and little among the fixtures of giants.

"Mom?"

She stopped and looked over her shoulder, "Soji died before he could figure out how to separate the Immortality Complex from the cancer healing one. Before he could save your father. I know one of his colleagues in Brazil is waiting for me. I hope that he will be able to finish Soji's work. Keep in contact with Futo, Yusuke, Wataru and Tsubaki for me, will you?"

I nodded, "Yes mom."

"I love you son. I will never leave you."

It was a promise made on a disturbing level.

She turned to leave-

"Mom-"she looked back at me, "I love you. Take care of yourself. Call me when you can."

For the first time since dad had gotten sick she smiled, a happy carefree smile, and laughed, "Yes Shiloh."

Standing in the empty room I watched my mom leave praying that no one would get in her way because she was a woman Hell bent on completing a mission.

Well that's how the cookie crumbles folks! Hope you enjoyed this screwed up rollercoaster ride that was the Masaomi route. I do plan on writing routes for each brother so please be patient as I am racking my brain between these and an official publish/ original creation. Thank you for your patience and your constant reviews.


	36. Chapter 36

Epilogue

My life had been full of turmoil in its youth but among the swamping, crashing waves I found love which gave me hope. Hope for a new future, a bright future, a long future to grow old with the man I loved. Science, Soji God rest his soul, made that possible. But my story seemed not to end simply at old age.

The second half of my life is nothing but struggle with the lives of those around me while I watch like some complacent doll in a glass box. First I buried my husband. Then I watched my brothers grow, marry, start families and then I buried them and their wives and their children. I watched my own son grow from a boy into a man, so much like his father in every way, watched him marry and start a family, watched his children grow and then I buried him and his wife.

Thanks to Raul, Soji's friend in Brazil, the immortality complex was extracted from the cancer antidote taken from my blood. The cure was treating people at an alarming rate and cancer had all but been eliminated in industrial countries. People from everywhere were flocking to the shores of Japan and the US in search of this expensive treatment and I had become the wealthiest woman in the world over night.

I had time.

I had money.

I didn't have my Masaomi.

My heart yearned for him like no other and no other would ever fill his place. None could come close. But still, like I had learned from him, instead of fighting this change, fighting the world around me, I made my peace and accepted what I was bound to see. Wondering all the while if immortality could end. It was the last of my brothers, Tsubaki, who gave me comfort.

Lying in his bed, a wrinkled old man at the age of one-hundred, I held his hand comforting him. He was one of the few who had died peacefully. Ukyo had been shot by an upset ex-client, Natsume was killed by lung cancer before the cure was found, Kaname passed during his time of prayer at the temple his heart had exploded, Hikaru passed in a plane crash on his way to a vacation cabin, Iori was hit by a runaway car, Subaru and Louis died in an earthquake when the building around them collapsed, Azusa's meningitis finally caught up to him one winter, Yusuke got pneumonia, Futo died because of a jealous lover and Wataru died doing what he loved-racing circuit cars. But Tsubaki, for whatever reason, held on to the very end.

" _Lex, you know I love you, don't you?"_

 _I held his hand and nodded keeping the tears from my eyes._

" _I always thought Masaomi wasn't worthy of you. You should've come to me. I would've done better by you."_

 _Tsubaki coughed thickly and shook the bed. Out of all the brothers he was the only one to not marry and have family. In part I knew it was because of me, that he was so in love that he waited for me to come to him, even though I told him it wouldn't happen._

 _I held Tsubaki's hand with both of mine, "Tsubaki don't talk about sad things."_

 _He smiled making his wrinkly face pinch at the corners, "You know I was right what I told Masa."_

" _What's that?"_

" _That you're just like sunshine. You never die you only grow brighter and more beautiful."_

 _The tears I'd been holding back finally slipped down my cheeks splashing softly onto his bed covers._

" _Oh, come now, don't cry." He cooed wiping my tears away._

 _Shakily I inhaled, "Tsubaki I want this sunshine to fade. I want it to die. I'm so weary. I want to be with my family in Heaven."_

 _With wrinkly, cold hands he grabbed my face firmly making me look at him, "Don't you ever wish for such a thing! You hear me? You were made for greatness and with this greatness you must work."_

 _Sighing he laid back and recognized the sound of his soul fighting to depart its clay shell._

" _Tsubaki?!"_

" _I love you Lex. We all do. Never let your light fade. Never."_

As pathetic as I was I was finally and utterly lost. I was without my family, without my love, I was without. _You say that I'm sunshine but I feel like shadow_. In the coming days I tested a theory with little success. I was hit by a car, three times, jumped from bridges, once, jumped from building-skyscrapers-, six times, slit my wrist and throat, twice, poisoned myself-I did ever explicable thing to end this long, tormenting life to no avail. Each time I came back. Each time I felt the pain of what I'd done. Each time the scars multiplied and remained.

For some reason I was destined to live like this. Drifting along among faces, an empty person in an empty world, until I saw him. Masaomi standing in the crowd as they passed around him. I'd shouted and ran but he didn't move, didn't run, as I screamed out that I was sorry. That I missed him and that's when he told me-

"Forgive. Yourself."

His words stopped me in my tracks.

"This is the ultimate key to peace. Put down the weapons aimed at yourself, Lex."

The weight was gone.

With the money I had invested and made from the cure production I started my own company. It dabbled in everything from law to medical to hair products to game design to racing cars to music and sports. Through science and smarts the teams I had put together worked to make the world a better place and my conglomerate grew because of it.

By 2020 the world was no longer dependent on oil or coal, cars no matter the size were powered by the sun or moon, houses were 100% energy efficient, the unemployment rate had nearly disappeared, clean water was given to the whole of the world as well as dependable harvest foods. Children were no longer starving or dying of disease. I had done something good with this gift I had been given.

But with every sunrise and sunset I still foreword to the day that I would pass and see my family again. Where I would be able to hug them and talk with them and not to the silence. But until that day came I would fight to make peace with myself and the world around me.

This wonderful, mysterious world.


End file.
